stay for the cup of coffee: how to support others in grief

When someone we care about experiences a major life loss, for many of us it’s instinctive to want to help. After all, we feel awful about what happened as well as what our friend or family member must be going through. So, we write a note, send flowers, or drop off a casserole. These are all kind, helpful gestures, but what then? The grief journey takes a long time, and early on, most grievers are left to their own devices, lonely and struggling. How do we continue to effectively support our grieving loved ones in the coming weeks, months, and even years? This little book will help you understand how to really be there for grieving people. It will explain the basic principles of human presence and empathy and give you guidelines for reaching out to and spending time with those in grief. The beautiful thing is this: All you have to do is stay for the cup of coffee. You don’t need to supply answers or give advice. You don’t have to have special training or skills. All you need to do is be aware of simple concepts like hospitality and holding space. When you are genuine and present at regular intervals, grieving people can themselves be genuine in the presence of a caring lis

Author, educator, and grief counselor Dr. Alan Wolfelt is known across North America for his inspirational teaching gifts. His compassionate messages about healing in grief-- based on his own personal losses as well has his professional experience supporting children, teens, adults, and families over the last three decades-- speak not only to the intellect but to the hearts of all who hear him. Perhaps best known for his model of ＂ companioning＂ versus ＂ treating＂ mourners, Dr. Wolfelt is committed to helping people mourn well so they can live well and love well. Founder and Director of the Center for Loss and Life Transition, Dr. Wolfelt presents numerous educational workshops each year for hospices, hospitals, schools, universities, funeral homes, community groups, and a variety of other organizations. He also teaches the bereavement caregiver trainings described on this website in beautiful Fort Collins, Colorado. Dr. Wolfelt is a popular media resource who regularly provides his expertise to many top-tier television shows, newspapers, and magazines. Check out our News page for some of the recent articles he has been featured in. A past recipient of the Association for Death Education and Counseling’s Death Educator Award, Dr. Wolfelt is also a faculty member of the University of Colorado Medical School’s Department of Family Medicine. A prolific author, Dr. Wolfelt is a regular contributor to several journals. We invite you to visit the Companion Bookstore to learn more about his helpful books, DVDs, audiobooks, and the popular ＂ Helping Series＂ brochures. Dr. Wolfelt and his wife, Sue, a family physician, are parents to three children. They live in the foothills of the beautiful Rocky Mountains next door to the Center for Loss and Life Transition.