Newly Single

NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS 2014

First time making resolutions – seems pointless, but am getting fat and no one loves self / don’t want to end up modern day, homosexual Bridget Jones.
•    Diet. Will return and continue to fit into fantastic 28” waist skinny jeans until AT LEAST age 30.
•    Change job or go back to college. Will finally be in appreciated authoritative roll with options to develop and grow.
•    Pay off BOTH credit cards. Will NOT be tempted by pay deposit now, pay rest later super cheap holidays.
•    Stay single so as not to be distracted or misled from other ambitions for perfect, self-development centered year.
•    Finish (Start) writing first children’s novel and all other lifelong ambitions.
•    Enjoy life.

Anyway. New Years Eve. Friends will be here any minute. Still naked.
Jeremy.

Jeremy Banks would like to note that it is extremely important to pour a large glass of wine before reading. Jeremy Banks would also like to warn readers that this book may contain occasional alcoholism and copious amounts of roast dinner.