The Would Be Asstronaut

Hank Larmspitz has a plan.

Well, sort of.

He's going to be the first man on the moon, dagnabbit, and he's going to do it without the aid of a space suit or even a space ship.

Exactly what does he have in mind?

Dan Dinkerleaf, a local correspondent for KAAS-LD Eureeka, wants to find out. And when he discovers Hank's true intentions, his patience becomes paper thin. "Seriously?" he blurts out. "Don't you think your theory is a bit…oh, I don't know...implausible?"

"Watch close and you might learn something." Hank cracked his knuckles and pulled out a helping of his favorite brand.

Intended for mature (and not so mature) audiences. Approximately 2,100 words.