The Taming of the Dru

With plans to snare Fang as her boyfriend at last, and her best friend Dru visiting for a short vacation, Emily envisions her last month in England to be filled with shopping, clubbing, and fun with a capital F. But when Fang comes home from a trip to New Zealand with a girlfriend in tow, her whole life seems to go bad: her dream job at a museum turns into a nightmare, and even the epic reenactment of the Helm’s Deep battle scene from the film The Two Towers (complete with swords, fake blood, and water balloons) goes awry.

Not even seances to contact the spirit she’s convinced haunts her underwear drawer can cheer her up as she readies herself to face the bittersweet move back to Seattle. Home doesn’t seem to have the same attraction as she thought it would, and it doesn’t take long before Emily realizes just what it’s going to mean to leave England…and Fang.

Subject: Emily’s über-Fabu Boyfriend Tips
From: Emmers@britsahoy.co.uk
To: Dru@seattlegrrl.com

1. Lip action matters. When selecting a guy to be your potential BF, it’s really best if you don’t give him a concussion when trying to kiss him.

2. Bad timing sucks. If you spend months waiting for your potential BF to come home from another country intending to throw yourself in his manly arms, make sure he’s coming home alone.

3. Swords hurt. If you insist on challenging a BF-stealing wannabe to a duel with one, use a fake sword rather than a real one. Sword cuts are so hard to explain to the parental units…

4. Don’t take no for an answer. Some guys need a little help seeing that you’re the best thing since someone figured out how to get glitter in lip gloss.