A Portion of Dragon and Chips

Welcome to the Old Kingdom!

It's a wonderful time to visit! There's lots to do and plenty to see!

Participate* in a public execution!
Wave a pathetic little sword at the Queen's Champion! (With luck**, become the new queen's champion!)
Practice real magic***, in public!
Make fun of the Halfling**** and experience excruciating pain!

What are you waiting for? Dive into the Old Kingdom right now! *****

Clunk, an elderly robot, just did exactly that. He plunges into the sea off the coast of the Old Kingdom, and if he knew what was coming next he'd have sat down on the ocean floor and waited for rescue.

Dragged from the ocean, coughing up seaweed, salty water and stray pieces of jellyfish, he's taken to the nearby city of Chatter's Reach, where he's given a sword and told to fight the Queen's Champion, Sur Loyne.

As if that wasn't bad enough, the Old Kingdom still thinks the wheel is a pretty nifty idea, and his chances of finding spare parts - or his missing memory modules - are nil.

Still, Clunk is an optimist, and it's not long before he's embarking on a quest to find his way home.

It's going to be a really tough ask, given the lack of charging points ...

* Note: you won't be the one swinging the axe.
** You'll need it.
*** Abracadon't. Seriously.
**** His name is Runt, and he's just tall enough to reach your groin. With his knife.
***** Try not to land on a giant sea serpent. Tourists give them indigestion.

Featuring Clunk - the beloved robot from the Hal Spacejock series - as well as the oddball protagonists from The Desolator, this novel promises to bring you the biggest laughs of the year.

This is the first novel in a three book series. Each book in the series continues plot lines and character arcs from the previous title, with everything wrapping up in book three.