You’re Not the Problem: The Impact of Narcissism and Emotional Abuse

Two popular psychotherapists explore narcissism in family of origin, unpacking the fallout from being raised by narcissistic parents, and offering strategies for how to heal.

Many emotionally abusive behaviors from parent to child have become socially acceptable because of the way we repeat things our parents said and did, things passed down from generation to generation that persist today. You’re Not the Problem enables us to recognize these behaviors and realize the profound impact they have had, and still have, and to see the patterns they form in our relationships with parents, partners and friends. It also shows us how to heal on a personal level but also on a societal level. The legacy and the damage caused by narcissistic and emotional abuse will carry on, perpetuated by trauma and repeating cycles, unless we learn to recognize and understand it, unless we as individuals and as a society learn how to challenge it and stop its vicious cycle of destruction--which is what this book sets out to do.

This book will explain and illustrate:

• How to recognize emotional abuse in family relationships: its language and behaviors
• The immediate and long term impact of these behaviors
• Strategies for healing
• How to avoid repeating these behaviors

Using client narratives and sample scripts, Villiers and McKenna offer a compassionate, sympathetic approach to looking at our familial patterns--and how we can break free from these toxic relationships and reclaim our lives.

Helen Villiers, LLB, PG Cert, PG Dip, MA is a psychotherapist with a Masters dissertation in Working Therapeutically with Adult children of Narcissistic Parents. Her client-base is largely adult children of narcissistic parents, or survivors of narcissistic partners. Together with co-author Katie, she hosts the successful podcast ’In Sight’ where she gets to live out a lifelong dream of playing agony aunt to listeners, responding to letters, offering insights and healing to those who write in and those who tune in. Helen now lives in Wales with her two children and their spaniel. During 2020 as lockdown approached, facing isolation with her two children alone, she set up a COVID Support Group for her town, and ran a volunteer organization that successfully supported members of the community by getting groceries, medicines and general errands. There also isn’t a hobby Helen hasn’t attempted, and she has her ADHD to thank for that! Helen loves to music and to sing. Find her on TikTok @liberationhelen

Katie McKenna, BA, MIACP is an accredited psychotherapist who runs a successful private psychotherapy practice. Katie graduated from IICP College in Dublin with a BA in Integrative Counselling & Psychotherapy and a Level 9 Certificate in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT). What Katie finds most rewarding is raising people’s awareness and educating them how their childhood relationships are impacting their current relationships and to not only witness but play a role in someone’s life changing exponentially through the psychotherapy process. Katie also co-hosts her own successful Podcast ＂In Sight＂ with Helen Villiers. Katie, living in Louth, runs her busy psychotherapy practice, continues to manage her thriving barbershop, is married and is the mother to four children under the age of ten. Find her on TikTok @katiemckennatherapist