Look Me in the Eye

他自小生活在一個瘋狂的家庭，有個酗酒的耶魯教授爸爸、精神錯亂的半調子詩人媽媽，以及一天到晚沉浸在閃亮物品裡，夢想著要當變性人的弟弟。 　　

這一切聽來如此熟悉？沒錯，他就是《一刀未剪的童年》作者Augusten Burroughs的哥哥。更慘的是，他還是個亞斯伯格症候群（高功能自閉症）患者！ 　　

這是一位亞斯伯格症患者以第一人稱敘述的真實生命故事。全書以三十個各自獨立的單篇故事，敘述作者從小到大的生命困境和心路歷程，讀來幽默有趣，又引人深思，讓我們看到一個受苦於自閉症的小男孩，如何走出封閉，找到與周遭世界對話的方式。

關於本書作者的話：

「這本書中，我盡可能把我的想法和感覺精確地表達出來，談到人、地或事的時候也一樣--雖然，有時候那更具挑戰性。當然，寫到我小時候，我的確沒有辦法記得當時跟人對話時所說的每一個字，不過，我有一生的經驗知道，這些年來父母是怎麼說話，怎麼處理事情，以及我自己是怎麼說話，怎麼跟其他人互動的。藉由這些，我重建場景、對話，期望準確地描述關鍵時刻我的想法、感受和行為舉止。

即便是亞斯伯格人，記憶也是不完美的，我想，總會有些我把人或者時間搞混的段落，還好，這不是一個對時間很敏感的故事。書中大部分時候，我用的是真實姓名，但是碰到會讓人家覺得尷尬，或者我記不得名字時，也會用化名。至於有些曾經出現在我弟弟歐各思坦．柏洛斯的首部傳記《一刀未剪的童年》中的人物，我會直接採用弟弟書裡用過的假名。……最重要的是，我期待這本書最後能夠清楚地告訴大家，不管我們亞斯伯格人看起來多麼呆滯、機械化，我們也有很豐富、深刻的感情。」

本書《看我的眼睛》中譯本由「遠流」出版。
New York Times Bestseller

"As sweet and funny and sad and true and heartfelt a memoir as one could find."
-from the foreword by Augusten Burroughs

Ever since he was small, John Robison had longed to connect with other people, but by the time he was a teenager, his odd habits-an inclination to blurt out non sequiturs, avoid eye contact, dismantle radios, and dig five-foot holes (and stick his younger brother in them)-had earned him the label "social deviant." No guidance came from his mother, who conversed with light fixtures, or his father, who spent evenings pickling himself in sherry. It was no wonder he gravitated to machines, which could, at least, be counted on.

After fleeing his parents and dropping out of high school, his savant-like ability to visualize electronic circuits landed him a gig with KISS, for whom he created their legendary fire-breathing guitars. Later, he drifted into a "real" job, as an engineer for a major toy company. But the higher Robison rose in the company, the more he had to pretend to be "normal" and do what he simply couldn't: communicate. It wasn't worth the paycheck.

It was not until he was forty that an insightful therapist told him he had the form of autism called Asperger's syndrome. That understanding transformed the way Robison saw himself-and the world.

Look Me in the Eye is the moving, darkly funny story of growing up with Asperger's at a time when the diagnosis simply didn't exist. A born storyteller, Robison takes you inside the head of a boy whom teachers and other adults regarded as "defective," who could not avail himself of KISS's endless supply of groupies, and who still has a peculiar aversion to using people's given names (he calls his wife"Unit Two"). He also provides a fascinating reverse angle on the younger brother he left at the mercy of their nutty parents-the boy who would later change his name to Augusten Burroughs and write the bestselling memoir Running with Scissors.

Ultimately, this is the story of Robison's journey from his world into ours, and his new life as a husband, father, and successful small business owner-repairing his beloved high-end automobiles. It's a strange, sly, indelible account-sometimes alien, yet always deeply human.

作者簡介

約翰．羅比森(John Elder Robisons)於1957年夏天出生於美國喬治亞州，父親是大學教授、母親是罹患躁鬱症的女詩人，弟弟則是日後成為著名廣告創意人、暢銷書作家的歐各思坦．柏洛斯。

約翰從小就是父母眼中的麻煩小孩，總是憂鬱，孤僻，無法交朋友。他轉學幾次，也看過不同的治療師，但始終找不出他行為不合常規的真正原因（當時亞斯伯格症尚未從自閉症中分類出來，還無法做醫學診斷）。

1970年代，他從高中輟學後，為知名搖滾樂團Kiss設計各種特殊音效的吉他。接下來，他在一家設計掌上型電玩的公司任職，因電子機械才華屢獲賞識升遷，但始終無法適應人群與公司體制，最後他辭職。在花了十年時間待了四家公司之後，他開始在自家的車道上維修賓士和路華汽車，並逐漸發展成全國知名、也是新英格蘭地區最成功的個人修車公司之一，尤擅長於賓士、BMW、捷豹、路華、勞斯萊斯和賓利汽車的修護。

有一天，一位渴望擁有路華汽車的心理治療師走進他的公司，進而變成他的好朋友。經過近距離研究與長時間的努力，這位心理治療師帶領羅比森認識亞斯伯格症候群，這些知識徹底改變他的生命，一個失敗的小孩終於變成一個成年的贏家。

如今，約翰與弟弟於麻州的安默斯特比鄰而居。他在弟弟的鼓舞之下，寫下自己的人生，迅即成為《紐約時報》與亞馬遜網路書店暢銷書作家。除了修車、寫作，他也和愛姆斯學院（Elms College）合作，開發關於自閉症和亞斯伯格症的研究課程。

約翰‧羅比森的英文官方網站www.augusten.com/index_flash.html

JOHN ELDER ROBISON lives with his wife and son in Amherst, Massachusetts. His company, J E Robison Service, repairs and restores fine European automobiles. Visit his website at johnrobison.com.