Love Poems (for married people)

Based on his wildly popular New Yorker piece, Thurber Prize-winner John Kenney presents a hilarious collection of love poems for, well, married people.

First published on Valentine’s Day in 2016, John Kenney’s collection of poems for married people quickly became one of the most shared New Yorker pieces of all time. Full of hilarious wit, dynamic energy, and a heavy dose of reality, these poems took the seminal genre and turned it upside down and left to dry in the dishwasher. The original selection, featuring a range of topics from parental gripes to dwindling sex lives, is a perennial favorite, skyrocketing to the top of the New Yorker’s most-shared list each year, and now Kenney is writing a collection of new poems that dig even deeper into what it’s like to be married to the person you love.

I was almost feeling fondness for you
As you gave me a shoulder massage at the sink--
What a small, lovely surprise.
And then you grabbed my boobs and made a ＂wha-wha＂ noise.
In an instant, I felt disgust and sadness and regret.