Circling The Wagons: When hiding a family secret, becomes more important than a loved one

Circling The Wagons is a deeply personal and unflinching first-hand account of an adult survivor’s journey to reclaim her life after enduring childhood sexual abuse within her own family. This book is written for fellow survivors, as well as for the friends and family members who want to better understand and support them. It offers a raw, honest, and in-depth exploration of the devastating long-term effects of hidden childhood sexual abuse, particularly when the trauma remains unspoken or unaddressed for decades.

This book sheds light on the emotional, psychological, and relational challenges survivors often face as adults. It provides insights into why survivors may feel the way they do, how trauma can shape their identity and life choices, and how silence and denial within families can deepen the pain. Through lived experience and acquired knowledge, I share not only the reality of the trauma but also the transformative path toward healing and reclaiming one’s voice.

Circling The Wagons serves as both a testament to resilience and a practical guide for navigating the complex family dynamics that often accompany intra-familial abuse. It encourages survivors to confront the shame and guilt that never belonged to them, and to begin a journey toward self-acceptance and healing.

The reason I wrote this book is simple: I grew tired of hearing so many stories like mine-stories marked by fear. Fear of what happened. Fear of speaking up. But something changed when I finally understood that what happened to me wasn’t my secret to carry-it was my story to tell. That realization changed the course of my life. I know firsthand the destructive and harmful paths that survivors can find themselves on, often driven by confusion, misplaced guilt, and silence. And I want, more than anything, for others to know that healing is possible-that a second chance at life is within reach.

To every survivor reading this: Please don’t hide from your story. Embrace it. Be compassionate, accepting, and nonjudgmental toward yourself. In doing so, you will uncover a well of resilience and strength that can guide you through even the most difficult times.

One unique feature of the paperback version of this book is the inclusion of lined pages at the end, specifically for survivors who have found it difficult to speak their truth. These pages offer a safe space to write down their story, to share it in their own time and on their own terms, with whomever they choose.

Above all else, let me say this: It is never a child’s fault. It should never have to be said-but for those who carry guilt that was never theirs to bear, I want that message to be heard, clearly and unequivocally.