Chasing My Sister's Shadow

Katja Varsten yearns for her older sister to be a loving confidant, but ill-tempered Ingrid falls far short of that ideal. When Katja asks why Ingrid acts so hateful, Mama replies that she was “born with a kernel of meanness.” After Papa moves the family from Germany to America, Katja wonders if there is another reason for her sister’s dark side, because Mama doesn’t seem to love Ingrid. How is this possible? A mother should love her child no matter what, Katja reasons, even one who came into the world screaming with rage. Why doesn’t Mama love Ingrid?

This compassionate tale follows Katja’s evolution from a naïve German girl to an American teenager catapulted into adulthood by tragedy and finally to a young woman striving to define herself in a fast-changing society. Amid the tumultuous World War II era, Katja copes with death, madness and immorality in her family and the world. Through it all, her sister Ingrid is one constant Katja wishes would change—from sharp-tongued rival to nurturing best friend—but in the end it is Katja who must change. Only then can she understand her sister, and ultimately herself.