The Snowden Avalanche

In the very near future, only the rich and the devious have privacy. The Snowden Avalanche has revealed the private transgressions of ordinary US citizens in such astonishing numbers that the whole aggrieved nation has come to the collective decision that the Puritan prudery of America’s first settlers finally, and forever, has to be kicked to the curb.

Manhattan-based iAesthetician Sabina Hrafnsson has made a lucrative career out of buffing up the images of those who got caught in the Snowden Avalanche with their metaphorical (and sometimes literal) pants down. Aside from her sucky luck at romance, she’s happy with the way things have turned out. But when Sabina agrees to do some PR work for a secretive Wall Street billionaire—“the Thomas Pynchon of high-frequency trading firm CEOs”—the complications in her life suddenly go viral.

Sabina becomes entangled in a web of conspiracies so vast and bizarre that it soon feels like she’s living a sequel to Orwell’s 1984. Only this time Big Brother faces a more formidable foe than Winston Smith: a wily and gleefully foul-mouthed New York City blonde who looks “like that intrepid Alpine waif, Heidi, all grown up into a high-strung slut wearing see-through yoga pants from Lululemon.”

If Big Brother has any plans for slut-shaming, he’d better watch his f#@king back…