I’m Sean Connery: A Comedy Play

I’M SEAN CONNERY (A Comedy)

＂The name is Bond. James Bond. Or at least it is until the meds kick in.＂

Welcome to Hammond House, a psychiatric ward where the only thing more dangerous than the patients’ delusions is their grasp of 1980s football trivia.

I’M SEAN CONNERY is a riotous, 6-act satirical farce that blurs the line between clinical reality and cinematic fantasy. At the centre of the storm is Ivan Asticov, a patient whose mental health condition leads him to adopt a new celebrity persona every week with 100% commitment. This week, he is Sean Connery-and he’s on a mission that the hospital staff can’t stop.

From the gritty ＂Q-Branch＂ of the men’s toilets-where a janitor presents a new toilet seat as a piece of aerospace technology-to a high-stakes dream sequence featuring the villainous Dr. ＂Blofeld＂ Chap’dArse and the lethal ＂Medicine Finger,＂ Ivan’s world is a high-octane spy thriller.

The stakes reach a fever pitch when an official from the Lottery arrives with a 13 million jackpot for a ＂Mr. Sean Connery.＂ Suddenly, every patient in the ward-including the fierce ＂Sean Connery Sisters＂-claims the identity for themselves. What follows is a whirlwind of mistaken identity, Panini sticker bribes, and a legal standoff that leaves the local police quite literally with their pants down.

• 6-Act Structure: A full-length theatrical tour-de-force that balances rapid-fire dialogue with physical comedy.

• Absurdist Satire: A biting look at identity, authority, and the ＂Muppet of the Year＂ competition.

• Unique Characters: Featuring a cast of unforgettable misfits, from the inventor of the ＂Arsehole Scratcher＂ to a Bond Girl who thinks she’s Purdey from The New Avengers.

Written by Stevie Faith, this is a play where the martini is lukewarm hospital tea, the gadgets are plumbing supplies, and the ending is a punchline you won’t see coming.

＂Sh-mashing.＂ - Ivan Asticov (Probably)