Creepy Crude Christmas

Buyer Beware: Although there is no graphic sexual content in this book, there are adult situations and topics not suitable for young people. Perhaps even adults, with normal, sacred views on Christmas may not appreciate these words. Buyers and readers beware.

Bob and Elise Grimes, although opinionated, demented, and wacky, are harmless folk who see the world a bit differently than the rest of us. Bob thinks he's better than everyone else, and his sarcasm lurks just behind his words, although sometimes he’s smarter than the average bear. Elise thinks she knows everything, and what she doesn't know, she finds on the internet. She also projects an aura of naivety and innocence, and, although she doesn’t consciously realize it or even mean half of what she says, she possesses a mouth that spews forth quicker than her brain is able to function. As a result, her words come across as heartless and cruel. Their son, Jimmy, a bit of a simpleton, exasperates them both. In fact, all three exasperate each other.

In "Creepy Crude Christmas," Jimmy has grown up—somewhat—from "Creepy Crazy Christmas," but he’s still the whiny kid from his younger days. Bob has grown up some, too, and has developed more of a backbone, especially as it pertains to Elise. Jimmy and Elise still revolt and disgust him, but they are his family, so he has no choice but to accept them for what they are. Divorce is not an option. Elise is the same as ever, still self-centered and righteous.

The Grimes family love to eat. Often, their best moments revolve around the dinner table. All of these stories are set over Christmas.

This book was to have been called, "Creepy Crazy Christmas, Volume 2," but when I finished, I realized it was more crass, crude and tasteless than its predecessor, the wacky and twisted "Creepy Crazy Christmas," and thus necessitated its own title. As a result, this book of short stories is titled, "Creepy Crude Christmas."

Some of these stories will leave you pondering or scratching your head, perhaps even wanting to locate the nearest trash can. There is one major surprise in this volume, with some twists along the way.