G-TRAX Devo's-Christian Living: Peer Pressure

One upon a time in a galaxy far, far away was an evil alien race called the Zits. They came from the planet of Zitoid. The planet Zitoid was in the far reaches of the Zittyway galaxy. This galaxy had twelve suns and fourteen and a half planets (one planet came to a head and blew its top off so now it’s just a half a planet but that’s not the point of the story).

Zitoid was ruled by King Zitty. He was a good king and treated all the other Zits well. Life had been the same for many, many zoiks, that’s “years” to you earth people. Life on Zitoid was grand. There was plenty of sunlight from the twelve suns so the Zits spent plenty of time outside enjoying the warmth. Of course, since they had twelve suns, the average daily temperature was about 400 zerks, that’s about 150°F. That’s the way the Zits liked it, nice and toasty warm.

One day King Zitty said to his trusted advisors Zerf, Zork, and Carl, “I think we need to go exploring around other planets to see what kind of life we can find. I want you, my trusted advisors, to build a zarfmobile (space ship) so that we can travel at the speed of znarfblat (speed of light) so that it won’t take us very many zoiks to get to the other side of the galaxy.

Well the king’s advisors, Zerf, Zork and Carl, started working on building the zarfmobile. After years of planning, designing and construction, they finally completed it. It was a beautiful space ship. . . Er . . Oops. . . I mean zarfmobile. They had built it so well that it could travel at twice the speed of znarfblat.

After they had completed it King Zitty and his advisors Rack, Shack and Benny. Oops. . . I mean Zerf, Zork and Carl began their quest to visit other planets and galaxies. They zwished (ran) into the zarfmobile and headed out to the outer most parts of the universe in search of not so intelligent life.

They traveled for many zoiks until they came to the planet called “earth”. They actually had found a worm-hole that folded time and space and used that to cut many zenturies off of their travel time. They had heard stories bout these earthlings and how intelligent they were. They also had heard that earthlings had zits and wanted to see if they were actually the Zits’ long lost cousins.