The Midnight Vampire Trap

Once upon a time, in a town called Hollywood, there was a vampire so very self-assured, so convinced of his immunity to mankind, that he used his ill-gotten wealth to finance --and star in-- a motion picture based on his own life. The vampire's film, in turn, attracted a rabid cult audience, who attended midnight shows dressed as characters in the film, talked to the screen, and threw things in the cinema. Eventually --unable to help himself-- the vampire went to see the show that had sprung up around his show, which was a big mistake, as several of the audience members were not just avid movie-goers but were in fact scientists, who have in their possession information that will change the life of every vampire on Earth forever.