The Bob Claus

What happens when an Army paratrooper, minding his own business, making a jump on Christmas Eve, accidentally lands on Santa's sleigh, instead of the ground? What happens if, during that process, Santa gets knocked unconscious? Somebody has to finish Santa's route, right? And isn't the obvious person to do that the person who caused all the problems in the first place? But what does an Army paratrooper know about "being" Santa? Wouldn't it be a good idea to send along an elf to keep an eye on him and show him the ropes? But what if that elf was a beautiful, sexy elf maiden? What could possibly go wrong in this scenario?