The Woman with the Golden Sex Spatula

Someone has stolen the most valuable erotic artefact in the British National Museum of Perversion: The Golden Sex Spatula.

To solve the mystery, the UK’s Central Perversion Enforcement Directorate has no choice but to call in the directorate’s leading investigators and experts in all that is rude and naughty: Norbert Trouser-Quandary and his wife Maureen, from the village of Little Frigging in the Wold.
With expert help from DCI Lyn Choiry of the Metropolitan Police, Norbert and Maureen must discover who has stolen the Golden Sex Spatula and return it to the Museum as soon as possible.
But they find out that the Golden Sex Spatula has been taken by the world’s most powerful erotic secret society, intent on unleashing Golden Sex Spatula’s overwhelming erotic potential for themselves. 
Now, Norbert, Maureen and Lyn must risk everything, including their lives, as they battle the unseen forces of the secret society to get the precious erotic artefact back before it is too late for everyone.
If they do not recapture it in time, then the secret society could use the power of the Golden Sex Spatula to destroy all the erotic potential in the universe, bringing about the end of the world as we know it.

[A novella: 33 000 words - 142 Pages]