The Sex Talk You Never Got: Reclaiming the Heart of Masculine Sexuality

Men today are starved for sexual formation. They’ve been failed by parents, churches, and culture alike, leading to widespread shame, confusion, and brokenness in the area of sexuality. In The Sex Talk You Never Got, therapist Sam Jolman helps men reconnect their God-given sexuality with innocence, awe, and joy, and shows readers how to celebrate--instead of struggle against--the gift of sexual desire.

In our sex-saturated world, it might seem surprising that men need more talk about sex. But the reality is that sexuality is one of the most neglected aspects of men’s lives. From the woefully inadequate sex talks many young men receive from parents (little more than an anatomy lesson or a purity lecture, if anything at all) to cultural messages that unhelpfully weave both shame and permissiveness into men’s understanding of their own sexuality and masculinity, too many boys and men experience sexual desire as an area of struggle, confusion, and brokenness.

But it doesn’t need to be this way. God made men to be moved, to live with wonder and awe--and sexual desire must be formed within the context of that design. Sam Jolman, a professional therapist who specializes in men’s issues and sexual trauma recovery, shows men the way out of the wilds of sexual struggle. This timely and incisive book will help readers

• learn about the vital link between sexual desire and their identity as worshipers;
• regain a wild and vigorous sexuality within the context of God’s design;
• understand how purity culture has needlessly put men in a conflict-ridden relationship with their sexuality;
• see sexual purity not as the goal but as the preparation for becoming fully alive to beauty, awe, and worship; and
• discover how to trade shame and confusion for a sexuality that’s filled with innocence and wonder.

In the Bible, Jesus’ greatest kindness was often offered to those suffering sexual harm and brokenness. He offers this same kindness today. He does not want men to repent of their sexual desire. Rather, through reconnecting sexuality with innocence and awe, God opens the door for men to experience the wild joy of desire, rightly ordered toward worship and God’s good purposes for their life.