Perfectly Queer: Facing Big Fears, Living Hard Truths, and Loving Myself Fully Out of the Closet

This humorous, heartwarming memoir follows a wife and mother’s journey of self-discovery and acceptance as she comes out as a lesbian in her late 30s.

Jill had a happy, healthy 20-year relationship with her college sweetheart, two wonderful kids, and rescue cat from the Humane Society. They lived in a nice suburban home with a white picket fence and owned a small bar that was rated one of the ＂Best Mom & Pop＂ businesses in Tampa Bay. From the outside, everything looked perfect.

Perfectly Queer takes the reader on Jillian Abby’s poignant and painfully funny rollercoaster of self-discovery as she identifies and eventually accepts herself as a lesbian just before her 40th birthday. Living her new truth means leaving behind a life that, by societal standards, is nearly perfect.

This is a story for anyone who is hiding a piece of themselves and wants to know if it’s safe to be revealed. It’s for the parent who must choose between their own happiness and the stability of their family, wondering if prioritizing themselves is selfish. It’s for the person potentially facing a major life upheaval filled with unknowns in the future who is seeking reassurance that everything will work out just fine. It’s a story of hope and inspiration to those who are starting or are in the middle of their journey, and an affirmation to those who have been through it to stand proudly on the other side.

Jillian Abby has mastered reinvention throughout her life to create the most whole and satisfying journey. She left the comfort of her hometown of Buffalo, NY, to study abroad in Cochabamba, Bolivia, at age 15. As an adult, her resume includes Certified Public Accountant, Licensed Massage Therapist, craft beer bar owner, creative copywriter, homeschooling parent, and black belt martial artist.

Her most recent role as a newly out lesbian and advocate for the LGBTQ+ community was by far her riskiest and most rewarding change. She serves as a committee member for Tampa’s first inclusive homeschool prom (@tbhip) and is a member of Tampa’s LGBT Chamber of Commerce and Babe Crafted. She supports others through her blog site QueerAbby.com and via TikTok at @AskQueerAbby.

Jillian lives in Tampa Bay with her partner, Jen, their wildly wacky children, Sophie and Ollie, and a rescue cat named Poe.