He Chose to Roll the Dice

Penniless and passport-less after a robbery and with my first child on the way, I felt the walls of my life closing in. Struggling to learn Arabic and kicking against the restrictions placed on women in an Arabic village, I was overcome by loneliness, boredom and frustration.Living in a tiny room in my husband’s parental home, I found myself surrounded by thirteen other members of Abed’s family. Our idyllic existence of companionable working, weekends on the beach and long evenings of conversation and backgammon were brutally ripped away. My senses were constantly under assault from my mother-in-law’s toothless screeching voice, the relentless heat of the sun and the flies and the smells of the family chicken shop.Over four years of weddings, funerals, feasts, fasts and local dramas, I grew to love many of the family members I lived amongst. There was my volatile father-in-law who singled me out for special treatment in preference to the other women in the family. There was my sister-in-law who I formed a close bond with despite our lack of any shared language. There were the angry argumentative brothers, who were simply hungry for their father’s love and approval.In the end though, the verbal, emotional and even sometimes-physical abuse from Abed eroded my love for him and I hatched a plan of escape with my two sons. With help at great personal risk from my only friend in the country, my escape relied on meticulous planning and good luck.