What Is Compersion?: Understanding Positive Empathy in Consensually Nonmonogamous Relationships

What is compersion? Is it the ＂opposite＂ of jealousy, as it is usually believed? Is it an emotion or a behavior? What causes it to arise and bloom? Can we ＂learn＂ compersion or invite more of it into our lives?

Based on her seminal research with consensually non-monogamous (CNM) individuals, Dr. Marie Thouin unravels these questions and more in the first-ever book to offer a comprehensive model of compersion and a practical road map to cultivating it. Each chapter features compelling stories from real CNM people, making this a captivating and highly applicable read. In addition, Thouin addresses the broader social context, explaining how understanding compersion is a groundbreaking step toward a world that supports relational diversity and freedom. By disrupting the idea that jealousy is the only valid response to intimacy beyond monogamy, the existence and practice of compersion builds the foundation for a completely new paradigm of loving relationships. This book and its conclusions have profound implications for many fields of study and practice including psychology, sexuality studies, philosophy and ethics, and law. Indispensable for CNM individuals, therapists, counselors, and scholars, this book is also invaluable for anyone curious to learn about positive empathy, intentional relationships, and radical love.

Marie Thouin, PhD, is the creator of www.whatiscompersion.com, a popular website that features her research, as well as personal and guest blogs, media appearances, and a list of resources on the topic of compersion. She is also the founder of Love InSight, a Mindful Dating & Relationship Coaching practice through which she helps people of all ages, genders, sexual orientations, and relational styles navigate the many challenges of intimate love--including those transitioning to non-monogamy or alternative relationship structures.

Thouin serves as Editor at the International Journal of Transpersonal Studies, a leading peer-reviewed publication in the fields of transpersonal and whole-person psychologies. She carried out her doctoral dissertation on compersion in consensually non-monogamous individuals in the East-West Psychology department at the California Institute of Integral Studies, San Francisco. Her seminal work on compersion has been featured in multiple publications and podcasts, including ELLE, Multiamory, Loving Without Boundaries, Leading Edge Love, The Shame Free Zone, and Sex Out Loud.