Love Never Ends: A Decade of Dementia

For anyone who would like to know what happens to a beautiful, vibrant person who becomes afflicted by dementia, or to what those who love such a person will endure as the disease progresses, Bob Wahl’s book, Love Never Ends is a well-conceptualized and written resource.The book well describes a couple’s initial bewilderment by the unusual things a victim gradually begins to do and say, the unusual ＂accidents＂ that begin to happen, the things that begin to demand an extraordinary amount of understanding, love, care, patience, and time from the primary caregivers along with all of their other responsibilities.This only becomes more intense and stressful as the disease worsens. The gradual recognition that things are only going to become that is so disheartening-seeing their loved one gradually become immobile, unable to communicate verbally, unable to feed themselves, etc. All this is described vividly in Bob’s revealing, empathetic yet wrenching account.The toll this takes on loved ones-especially the spouse-the shattered plans and dreams, the anguish of witnessing the continuing decline tends to be emotionally, psychologically, physically, and spiritually devastating.Bob’s account is especially helpful on what helped him most on the spiritual level. Though he questioned God at times, he nonetheless persisted in his belief in Him, realizing from Scripture that was absolutely necessary for being able to expect His help. Because of that conviction, he continued to go to Him in prayer; and because of that, vital help often came. As he put it, after some desperate praying, he ＂sensed an easing of the weight, a dawning grace... that gave new strength and courage.＂Bob’s account also provides considerable insight into what has occurred in his life since Beverley’s death. It is remarkable how he has survived emotionally, psychologically, physically, and spiritually and bounced back from his ordeal. This seems to me to be eloquent evidence that with God’s help a person can come through severe trials with their sense of understanding and well being intact. Through it all, Bob hung on to the Bible’s promise (ll Corinthians 12:9) that God’s grace would be sufficient for those who trust Him--including him. Some evidence which Bob provides shows that it has been.In addition to providing much useful information about dementia, Bob’s book is a wonderful account of how God brought one of His children through a horrendous test. I congratulate him on making the effort to write the book. It means that many others may now be helped by it..Dr. Cliff Maier, Retired Emeritus Professor, Northern Michigan University 1968-1993.

Bob Wahl was born in the thirties on a hardscrabble prairie farm in Saskatchewan, Canada. After an argument with his father he left home to pursue further education with only ＄1.75 in his pocket, and told never to come back. He spent much of his life in ministry, business and sales both in Europe as well as in Canada. During his life, Bob experienced some remarkable successes and significant failures. But on this journey of life, he encounters incredible obstacles, witnesses crushing business defeat, battles disappointment with his church and faces his greatest enemy head-on: self-doubt. He has published two previous books: An Autobiography ＂Contending with Horses＂, published by Outskirts Press; and a historical account of one of the oldest schools established in what was then known as the North-West Territories, ＂The Story of Saskatchewan School No 99＂ published by Friesen Press. After retirement, but still very active, his wife, Beverley, began to show signs of dementia. Bob took on the responsibility of looking after his wife when she was no longer capable of doing anything for herself. Bob kept a journal during this difficult period. Bob’s latest book ＂Love Never Ends＂ with a subtitle of ＂A Decade with Dementia＂, is based on his journal notes he kept during these difficult years. The book reveals much anguish and tears but also a triumph of faith. What sustained Bob through these difficult years was his faith. Although at times desperate for more strength and courage. He is encouraged by Scripture, prayer, quotes from books he reads, especially by Victor Frankl, and by his own messages. But when the time arrives, not long before her death, when he must place his beloved wife into the hands of others he writes in agony, ＂My thoughts all day long have been, this is probably the last time I do this for Bev. It is the last day that we live together. Tomorrow she goes into a home to be cared for by others. When I got her up at 4 pm I thought, this will be the last time I do this for her. As I wheeled her out onto the balcony, our deck, I thought the same. Then, as I fed her supper I thought, this is the last time I will prepare her meal. A similar thought when I put her to bed. It all seems so final.＂ It was. Release for Beverley came a few months later. Bob moved to British Columbia, near his daughter, and continues to serve in his church, speaking and encouraging others and continues his writing career.