Good Sex: Getting Off without Checking Out

Jessica Graham demonstrates that a deep spiritual life and an extraordinary sex life are not mutually exclusive in this keenly personal and unflinchingly frank guide to finding mindfulness in sex without losing the fun and adventure. Graham shares her own gradual transformation from checked out and sexually traumatized to present and joyfully recovered in all aspects of her life as she offers simple mindfulness tools and techniques to improve your sex life and romantic relationships. Her story of sexual healing, awakening, and exploration weaves together with a meditation manual and down-to-earth suggestions for how to bring mindfulness into the bedroom. Not only a tool kit for creating a rich and deeply satisfying sex life, this fun, explicit, and transformative book conveys the deeper message of how combining meditation with sex can bring about profound spiritual awakenings.

Good Sex begins with basic meditation instructions from a variety of techniques, followed by mindfulness exercises delving into communication difficulties, and the fear, attachment, and shame that can come up around sex. The book’s matter-of-fact and inclusive perspective borrows from Buddhism, Hinduism, and Christianity, but is accessible to the secular community and those with no spiritual or meditation background at all. Graham discusses everything from open-eyed orgasms to threesomes to how to deal with a partner with a low sex drive. From a sex-positive and nontraditional stance she explores nonmonogamy, the benefits of pornography, sexual trauma, consent, and much more. Anyone feeling stuck or stunted in their sex life, unable to communicate their needs or desires, will find strategies for approaching difficult subjects and connecting more intimately with partners. They will discover ways to trust their own personal wisdom, to know themselves better, have better sex, and embrace the spiritual dimension in their sexuality.