True Confessions of an Ambivalent Caregiver: A Memoir in Essays

Written for caregivers of parents and spouses, this funny but brutally honest collection of essays from award-winning author Eastman challenges the romanticized notion of caregiving, portraying it as an elegant conflict that reshapes family dynamics.

At first grateful to be able remodel the dining room of her family’s modest home in Connecticut to accommodate her eighty-six-year-old father for what everyone felt would be a short duration of care, Cindy Eastman ultimately experienced a whole gamut of feelings over the course of what turned out to be four years of caring for her dying dad. Caregiving impacts everyone, and this account--told in essays recorded before, during, and after the time Eastman’s father was with her--details that impact, not just on the primary caregiver but also the rest of the family.

One of the reasons Eastman committed to writing down her experiences was because she predicted that once her dad died, there would be a tendency to soften or even deny any of the negative and challenging times--and there were many. As of 2020, more than 53 million adults provide homecare in this country, and the reality of that arrangement is different for every family. It is not, as some might suggest, a ＂noble gesture＂ but rather an elegant conflict--an intricate reassembling of the family dynamic that many people don’t ever see coming. In these candid, often poignant essays, Cindy Eastman brings all the emotions of taking on the challenging responsibility of caregiving a parent at the end of their life to the surface.

Cindy Eastman is an award-winning author whose work is informed by her ability to be an observer as well as a participant in her life. Cindy’s first book, Flip-Flops After 50: And Other Thoughts On Aging I Remembered To Write Down, was published in 2014. She has essays in several other anthologies and in online magazines and writes a weekly essay called Silver Linings. She is the creator of the ＂Writual＂ writing program, has presented nationally at the Story Circle Network Women’s Writing Conference, and has been a featured speaker on a number of panels and programs. An educator for over twenty-five years, she has a master’s degree in education and is an adjunct at Naugatuck Valley Community College teaching English. Cindy lives with her husband, Angelo, in Watertown, Connecticut.