Always There, Always Gone: A Daughter’s Search for Truth

For fans of Natasha Trethewey and Maggie Smith, a mother-daughter story of multigenerational trauma, grief, discovery, and love, with the backdrops of an historic American tragedy and an iconic family business, written in lyrical, fragmented form.

In 1960, six years before Marty Ross-Dolen was born, her maternal grandparents were killed in an airline disaster involving the collision of two commercial jets over New York City. They were traveling from Columbus, Ohio, to seek placement for their family’s iconic magazine, Highlights for Children, on the newsstands. Their daughter--Marty’s mother--was fourteen years old at the time. This genre-bending memoir tells Marty’s story of being raised by a mother in protracted mourning.

The fragmented narrative explores Marty’s journey, from personal ways of coping as a child to the evolution of a mother-daughter relationship that matured over time. It is also about her longing to know her maternal grandmother, and through saved letters and photographs from her grandmother’s life, she enters a fantastical relationship that serves to replace one that otherwise could never exist. Ultimately it is about the discovery of truth, in unearthing the story of her grandparents’ deaths and her mother’s acute loss, in freeing her grandmother’s image from the weight of a tragic death, and in Marty’s own delivery from darkness. Beyond that, it is about universal life choices, the ways human beings unknowingly determine their destinies, and the healing powers of truth and love.

Marty Ross-Dolen is a graduate of Wellesley College and Albert Einstein College of Medicine and is a child and adolescent psychiatrist. She holds an MFA in Writing from Vermont College of Fine Arts. Prior to her time at VCFA, she participated in graduate-level workshops at The Ohio State University. Her essays have appeared in North Dakota Quarterly, Redivider, Lilith, and Willow Review, among others. Her essay entitled ＂Diphtheria＂ was named a notable essay in The Best American Essays 2017. She lives in Columbus, Ohio.