Football Jokes: 350 Hilarious Quips, Zingers, and Belly Laughts

In Football Jokes, Tom Rock has put together a list of the funniest, most humorous, side-stitching, belly busting, and toe-tickling list of comedic prose to keep you laughing throughout anything this amazing game can throw at you. From concise one-liners to fuller-length quips, Rock takes you from the sideline to the endzone and beyond. Some of the hundreds of jokes include:

• What is a football player’s favorite dessert? Any given sundae.
• Some of the very best football players are actually two-sport athletes. They are the Pro Bowlers.
• Why was the centipede banned from the football team? It took too long to tape his ankles.
• Where do NFL teams get their uniforms each year? New Jersey.
• Why didn’t Cinderella get any better at football? Because her coach was a pumpkin.
• Why don’t NFL players wear eyeglasses? Because football is a contact sport.
• What’s a football player’s favorite part of a joke? The punt-line.
• And many more!

Tom Rock is an award-winning sports journalist for Newsday in New York, where he has worked since 1996. He has covered the NFL since 2006 and the New York Giants since 2008. His articles have been cited in the 2005 edition of The Best American Sports Writing and recognized by the APSE (Associated Press Sports Editors), New York Press Club, Press Club of Long Island, and the New York City Chapter of the Society of Professional Journalists. He is the author of the novel Game Seven. Rock lives in Sound Beach, New York, with his wife and three children.