Yellow Jaundice

It’s 1984 and the week leading up to the biggest small-town football rivalry in Arkansas -- the 73rd ＂Battle of the Boondocks＂ between the Paraclifta Hornets and the Paraloma Porcupines. And since the home team always wins, the record stands at 36 wins for Paraclifta and 36 wins for Paraloma after 72 years. Since it’s an even-numbered year, it’s Paraclifta’s turn to host and once again surge ahead to a one-game lead in the standings. All they have to do is get the right referees. And they do. The problem is that the officially certified refs this year have all come down with the Yellow Jaundice, which means Paraclifta has to find new refs for the game, which means they could lose this year, which means they’d fall to 36-37 against their hated rival, which simply must not happen. To make matters worse, politicians get involved and Channel Nine out of Little Rock will be broadcasting the game live for the first time in state history. Once again, it falls to John D. Dalrymple and the rest of the Paraclifta Consortium to step up, do their duty, and save the town’s reputation -- or move.