Am I Missing Something...

THE HILARIOUS ANNUAL COLLECTION OF READERS’ LETTERS THAT WERE JUST TOO LEFT-FIELD, OUTRAGEOUS OR WITTY TO MAKE THE PAGES OF THE TELEGRAPH.

‘ SIR – Two days of news about the Duchess of Cambridge, and you haven’ t yet told us about her hospital gown. Who designed it? How much did it cost? And has she worn it before?’

‘ SIR – Sede vacante has not always been connected with the death of a pope. When I was growing up in the 1970s we would use the expression at home to denote that the bathroom was free.’

**‘ SIR – Being a devoted husband, as well as a staunch and active member of the ** Conservative Party, I’ d be grateful to learn what further changes it will adopt, especially in regard to monogamy. My wife could do with a bit more help around the house.’

‘ SIR – Am I alone in wishing for an episode of the BBC’ s Countryfile in which a presenter’ s offer to “ lend a hand” is turned down?’

‘ SIR – I see in your Cyprus Bailout Live blog, at 13:55, a reference to the “ Finish [sic] Europe Minister” . Thank goodness it is all over.’

A letters page may seem antiquated in an era of texting and tweets, yet the Telegraph’ s letters writers – often bemused, sometimes furious, always erudite – are a breed apart. ‘ Writing to the Telegraph lets off steam,’ confesses one regular correspondent – and thank goodness for the rest of us that it does. Now that anyone can publish their opinions online, the Telegraph letters page remains a rare bastion of well-written, carefully edited wit on the topics of the day.

In this fifth volume of wise, waggish and downright outrageous letters for which there wasn’ t enough space – or editorial stomach – in the paper, we offer another hilariously alternative review of the year.

With an agenda as enticing as ever, ranging from Chris Huhne’ s speeding points to a royal baby, a new Pope to Andy Murray, it will prove, once again, that the Telegraph’ s letters writers have an astute sense of what really matters.