Skateboarding on the Appian Way and other short stories

Sedated and Often:
Sedation is commonly used in procedures like dentistry, cosmetic surgery, and the grand-daddy of all barbaric and diabolic tortures known to mankind: the dread vasectomy. Other times, sedatives are given to people just to get them to shut up. My kids wish I would try some for this purpose, and right away please….

What to Do:
The state of Arizona, facing a budget shortfall of two billion dollars, and having been unable to arrange credit through mainstream banking channels, tried to secure a loan from “Shady Hank’s Check Cashing and 24 Hour Laundrette” at a monthly compounding interest rate of 387 %. The plan unraveled however, when the state could not show proper identification and tried to collateralize the Grand Canyon….

Some Foods Never Learn:
There are foods no one likes. At the top of this long list is liver. Why would a meat of such immense revulsion think anyone would want to eat it? Sauerkraut takes a close second on this dubious menu. The entire German nation is dead wrong, verzeihen Sie mir, when it thinks this culinary “delight” has any sort of spot atop the world’s charter of consumable delicacies….

….and many more!

Here’s another ridiculous collection of nonsense from the author who bored you with “My Parakeet was an Anarchist.”

What others are saying about Skateboarding on the Appian Way:
“I already know what it says.” – Steve Manning
“I laughed so hard my back hurts.” – Quasimodo
“I am not fat.” – Frisket Macc