Holly Theisen-Jones wrote a viral piece on wellness-industry influencers for McSweeney’s in 2017 called "My Fully Optimized Life Allows Me Ample Time to Optimize Yours" and was subsequently shocked by people’s inability to distinguish satire from reality after she was offered contracts as a life coach, invited to contribute to wellness blogs, and even asked to speak at events. As she says, "At first, it was funny. Then it was scary." During a brief, unimpressive career in horticulture, Holly learned that she is to tropical plants as Charlie Brown is to Christmas trees and switched careers to human services. If plant murder were a crime, she would be on the way to Venezuela. She lives in Atlanta with her husband, child, six frogs, and a house full of plastic succulents.