1001 One-Liners: Jokes and Zingers for Every Occasion and on Every Subject - Puns, Dad Jokes and Witty Asides for Weddings, Speeches an

Short, quick-fire jokes have
been popular for centuries. Indeed the world’s oldest surviving joke book, the
Philogelos, which was written in Ancient Greek, contains this classic doctor
joke: Patient: ＂Doctor! When I wake up I’m all dizzy. Then after half an hour I
feel fine.＂ Doctor: ＂Well, wait half an hour before waking up.＂

Meanwhile in Rome, they had a gag for every occasion, from
senate orations and lavish feasts to throwing Christians to the lions. A Cicero
stand-up gig was the hottest ticket in town. Shakespeare readily slipped
one-liners into his comedies, while medieval jesters used pithy quips to amuse
the royal court, well aware that if the joke backfired and somehow offended the
monarch, their next audience might be with the executioner.

＂Dying on stage＂ carried a more sinister meaning for
comedians in those days. It’s not hard to see why one-liners remain in vogue
with today’s comedians. They are easy to remember, quick to deliver and if one
gag dies on its feet, the next is waiting in the wings, hopefully to a better
reception.

Here is a compilation of the best one-liners around - a heady
mix of old and new favourites, Dad jokes, thoughtful musings, corny puns and
witty observations, covering a vast range of topics from Families to Fish,
Money to Music, Relationships to Religion and Technology to Travel.

They can be
used to brighten up business conferences where the delegates are as tired as
the sandwiches; dinner parties where the conversation is threatening to slide
into a discussion about spreadsheets; seemingly interminable Zoom calls; and,
of course, speeches at weddings that are so emotional that even the cake is in
tiers.

Geoff Tibballs is the author of The Mammoth Book of Jokes and The Mammoth Book of Dirty Jokes as well as many other books including Dad-isms and The Wicked Wit of England. A former journalist and press officer, he is now a full-time writer who lists his hobbies as sports, eating, drinking, and avoiding housework.