博客來 當按部就班的你，遇上不按牌理出牌的他
從充滿刺激和驚喜的熱戀……慢慢走向失控的生活
關係日漸疏離的你們，該如何找回失去的喜悅？
也許問題不是他不再重視你，而是他缺乏注意力！
分心症（ADHD）並不是小孩專屬的問題，也並非長大就會自動消失。由於不夠理解，分心症對伴侶關係造成的影響一直沒有受到重視，身陷親密關係危機的分心者家庭常會選擇錯誤的方式來解決問題。指責不負責任的行為，要求所有的事情要有組織、有計劃，督促對方學習改變成為模範伴侶，這些方法對一般配偶而言可能有用，但是對另一半或雙方都有分心症的婚姻卻可能有反效果，越努力結果越是令人失望。
忽視分心症的殺傷性與影響力，結果將助長婚姻中的寂寞、憤怒、壓力、無助感，最後導致哀傷與絕望；唯有了解分心症徵狀對親密關係和承諾造成的破壞，認清分心症在家庭中常見的惡性循環模式，然後才能依循改善關係的六個步驟，一步步找回被負面情緒和生活壓力消磨殆盡的浪漫感受。
如果你覺得無論多麼努力你們的關係也毫無起色，那麼或許應該想想：尋求改變的答案不是「更努力」，而是「用不同的方法」。書中分享的故事及心路歷程會讓你覺得自己並不孤單，實用的策略和練習則有助於改善溝通及情緒控制。生活或許只需要有限的秩序，做法對了，你們將重新體會最初的心動和彼此的愛。
Awarded "Best Psychology Book of 2010" by ForeWord Reviews, this book is an invaluable resource for couples in which one of the partners suffers from Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). It authoritatively guides couples in troubled marriages towards an understanding and appreciation for the struggles and triumphs of a relationship affected by ADHD, and to look at the disorder in a more positive and less disruptive way. Going beyond traditional marriage counseling which can often discount the influence of ADHD, this straight-forward discussion offers advice from the author's personal experience and years of research and identifies patterns of behavior that can hurt marriages —such as nagging, intimacy problems, sudden anger, and memory issues —through the use of vignettes and descriptions of actual couples and their ADHD struggles and solutions. This resource encourages both spouses to become active partners in improving their relationship and healing the fissures that ADHD can cause. Also included are worksheets and various methods for difficult conversations so that couples can find a technique that fits their unique relationship and improve their communication skills.
★本書中譯版《不是你不再有吸引力，是他缺乏注意力》由遠流出版。
作者簡介
Melissa Orlov
婚姻諮商專家，特長於分心症對婚姻的影響。她為《分心症雜誌》（ADDitude Magazine）撰寫〈你們的關係〉（Your Relationship）專欄，並在「分心症與婚姻」網站（ www.ADHDmarriage.com）中開設極受歡迎的部落格。由於先生有分心症，他們的婚姻關係一度陷入危機，在重新找回幸福的過程中，她發現成人分心症經常受到忽視，因此開始投入推廣相關的資訊與知識的工作。她與美國分心症權威愛德華．哈洛威爾（Edward Hallowell）以及蘇．哈洛威爾（Sue Hallowell）合寫過《與分心結婚》（Married to Distraction）一書，致力於輔導世界各地受到分心症影響的伴侶，協助他們重新平衡彼此的關係，並在關係中學習成長。
Melissa Orlov is an expert in the emerging study of ADHD's impact on marriage. She writes the "Your Relationships" column for ADDitude Magazine, blogs for Psychology Today, and contributed to Married to Distraction by Ned and Sue Hallowell. As a marriage consultant, she helps couples from around the world rebalance their relationships and learn to thrive. She also teaches therapists and counselors about effective therapeutic interventions for couples struggling with ADHD issues. She has been interviewed on the topic of ADHD and marriage by the New York Times, CNN, Today, CBS, US News and World Report, AOL and many others. She and her husband of 20+ years live outside Boston. For more information about her phone courses for couples and therapists, please visit her website.
