試讀篇
Book One
卷 一
來自私人生活圈的品質傳承
1從我的祖父維勒斯那裏,我學到美好的品德和控制自己情緒的重要性。
2從我父親1的聲名和對他的追憶中,我懂得了謙遜和男子漢氣概。
3從我的曾祖父那裏,我懂得了不要經常出入公立學校,而要請優秀的家庭教師,懂得了在這些事情上是不能吝惜金錢的。
4從我的母親那裏,我濡染了虔誠、仁愛和克制,不僅戒除惡行,甚至戒除邪惡念頭的產生;而且,我還學會了簡單的生活方式,摒棄富人奢侈的生活習俗。
5從我的老師那裏,我明白了不要介入馬戲中的任何一派,也不要陷入角力戲中的黨爭;從他那裏我還學會了吃苦耐勞、清心寡欲、事必躬親,不要干預他人的私事,不要聽信誹謗之言。
6從戴奧吉納圖斯那裏,我學會了不使自己忙碌於瑣碎之事,不要相信術士巫師之言,驅除妖魔鬼怪之類的東西;學會了不挑撥離間,既不熱中也不畏懼抗爭;學會了讓人自由發言;學會了親近哲學。我先是巴克斯,然後是坦德西斯、馬爾塞勒斯的一個傾聽者;我年輕時寫過對話,嚮往厚木板床和粗毛皮衣,以及其他一切屬於希臘文化的東西。
7從拉斯蒂克斯那裏,我懂得了我的性格需要改進和訓練;從他那裏我還學會了不要誤入詭辯和競賽的歧途,不要寫作投機的東西,不要進行繁瑣的勸誡,不要炫耀自己是一個訓練有素的人,或者為了譁眾取寵而行善;學會了避免華麗的辭藻、構思精巧的寫作;不穿外出的衣服在室內行走,以及諸如此類的事件;以簡潔樸素的風格寫信,就像拉斯蒂克斯從錫紐埃瑟給我母親寫的信一樣;對於那些以言語冒犯我或者對我做了錯事的人,只要他們表現出願意和解的意思,那就樂於與他們和解;仔細地閱讀,不要滿足於對書籍的膚淺理解;不輕率地同意那些夸夸其談的人;我感謝他使我熟悉了埃比克泰德的言論,那是他從自己的收藏中傳授給我的。
8從阿珀洛尼厄斯那裏,我懂得了意志的自由,和目標的堅定不移;懂得了在任何時候都要依賴理性,而不去依賴其他任何東西;即使在失去孩子和久病不癒的劇痛中,依然鎮定如常;從他身上,我清楚地看到了一個既果斷又靈活,在教導別人時毫不焦躁易怒的活生生的榜樣;看到了一個清醒地不以他解釋各種哲學原則時的經驗和藝術自傲的人;從他那裏,我學會了如何從值得尊敬的朋友那裏贏得好感,既不使自己在他們面前顯得卑微,又不對他們視若無睹。
9從塞克斯都那裏,我看到一種樂善好施的品質,一個以父愛的方式去管理家庭的榜樣和合乎自然地生活的觀念;莊重嚴肅而不矯揉造作,細心地顧及到朋友的利益,原諒那些無知的人、那些不經思考就發表意見的人。他有一種使自己迅速融入所有人的能力,所以與他交往的愉快勝過任何阿諛奉承;同時他最能贏得與他交往的人的最高尊重。他有能力以一種明智而系統的方式發現和整理生活所必需的原則;他從未對任何人表示憤怒或者其他激烈情緒,而是完全心平氣和而又最寬厚仁愛;他能夠表示嘉許而毫不張揚,他擁有淵博知識而毫不驕矜。
從文法家亞歷山大那裏,我學會了避免挑剔,不要苛責那些表達上有粗俗、欠文理和生造等毛病的人們;而是巧妙地藉由回答或者提供資訊的方式、探討事物本身而非語言的方式,或者給出恰當的意見,來引出那應當運用的正確表達。
從弗朗特那裏,我學會了觀察存在於一個暴君裏的嫉妒、偽善和表裏不一;懂得了我們中間那些被稱為上流人士的,一般都缺乏仁慈之情。
從柏拉圖派學者亞歷山大那裏,我懂得了無需經常但又不是沒有必要對人說話或者寫信,懂得了我沒有空閒;懂得了我們並不是總能以緊迫事務的藉口來推卸對與自己一起生活的那些人的義務。
從克特勒斯那裏,我懂得了當一個朋友抱怨時,即使他是無理取鬧也不要漠不關心,而是試圖撫平他的情緒;懂得了要隨時好言相勸,正像人們所說的多米蒂厄斯和雅特洛多圖斯一樣;懂得了要真誠地愛我的孩子。
從我的兄弟西維勒斯那裏,我懂得了愛親人、愛真理、愛正義;從他那裏,我懂得了思雷西亞、黑爾維蒂厄斯、加圖、戴昂、布魯特斯;從他那裏,我接受了一種法律對所有人都平等、實施權利平等和言論自由的政體思想,和一種最大範圍地尊重被治者的所有自由的王者之治的觀念;從他那裏,學會了對於哲學的從一而終和堅定不移的尊重,學會了一種行善的品質,為人隨和,抱以善望,相信自己為朋友所愛,我也看到他從不隱瞞對他所譴責的人的意見,因此他的朋友不必臆測他想做什麼、不想做什麼,他的意願是相當明顯的。
從馬克西默斯那裏,我學會了自制,不為任何東西所左右;學會了在一切情況下都保持樂觀,即使患病了也是如此;學會了在道德品質方面形成一種甜美和尊嚴的恰當配合;學會了做任何擺在我面前的工作而毫無怨言。我看到每一個人都相信他所說即他所思,相信他所做的一切從來都無惡意;他從未表現過奇怪和驚愕,從不慌忙,從不拖延,從不會不知所措或灰心喪氣;他從不以笑臉來隱藏自己的惱怒,另一方面,他也從不狂熱或者多疑。他習慣於行善,隨時寬恕別人,並遠離一切虛偽;他給人的印象與其說是一貫公正,不如說是不斷改善。我還注意到任何人都不會認為自己受到了他的蔑視,或者敢於自認比他還好。他也具有一種令人愉快的幽默感。
養父安東尼.皮烏斯給我的教誨
從我的父親2那裏,我看到一種溫和的脾性,他對經過深思熟慮之後所做的決定抱有不可更改的決心;對於那些人們稱之為功勳的東西毫無驕傲之感;熱愛勞動,持之以恆;樂意傾聽對公共福利提出的建議;毫不動搖地根據每個人的貢獻來分配;並擁有一種從經驗中獲得的辨別精力充沛和軟弱無力的行動的知識。我看得到他戰勝了對孩子的所有激情;他把自己視為與其他任何一個公民沒有差異的公民,他解除了他的朋友陪他一起喝茶和出國時必須覲見他的所有義務,那些由於緊急事務無法陪伴他的人,總發現他對他們一如往常。我還看到他仔細探討一切所需考慮的事情。他堅持不懈,從不因初次印象的滿意而停止探究;他有一種保持友誼的性情,不會很快對朋友感到厭倦,也不會浪費自己的感情;對一切環境都感到滿意和樂觀;以一種長遠的眼光預測事物,能不誇張地見微知著;他可以立即阻止一切流行的讚美和阿諛奉承;他對管理帝國所需的事務保持警惕,妥善管理支出,耐心地容忍由此帶來的一切指責;他既不迷信神靈,也不以賞賜、娛樂或奉承大眾而對人們獻殷勤;他對一切事情都保持清醒和鎮定,從未有過任何卑鄙的想法或行為,也不好新騖奇。對於幸運所賜的豐富的有益於生命的東西,他既不推辭也不炫耀,所以當得到這些東西時,他就毫不虛偽地享用,當得不到時,他也並不想得到。沒有任何人說他是一個詭辯家,一個能說會道的家奴,或者賣弄學問的人;但每個人都承認他是一個成熟、完美的男人,不受奉承的影響,能夠管理自己和他人的事務。除此以外,他尊敬真正的哲學家,不譴責那些自稱為哲學家的人,也不輕易地被他們迷惑。他在社交方面也平易近人,使自己顯得和藹可親而不帶有任何攻擊性的虛偽。他適度關注自己的身體健康,既不過分依戀生命,又不像那些對個人形象毫不在乎的人。但藉由自己日常的留意,他很少需要看醫生、吃藥和進補。他非常樂意為那些擁有特殊才能的人開啟道路而不帶絲毫嫉妒之心,比如具有雄辯口才或者擁有法律、道德等知識的人;他給予他們幫助,並根據每個人的長處使他們享有聲譽;他總是愉快地根據自己國家的制度行事,而不帶任何個人的感情。而且,他不喜歡改變或不穩定,而喜歡待在同一個地方,並專注於同一件事情;他在頭痛病發作過後,立即精神抖擻、精力充沛地繼續他一貫的工作。他的祕密不多也不少,這些祕密都是有關公共事務的;他在公眾觀瞻之物和公共建築的建設,以及對待人民的捐獻等方面表現得審慎而節約,因為他關注的是是否應該這樣做,而不是藉由這些事情獲得名聲。他不在不恰當的時間洗澡;他不喜歡興建豪宅,也不關注自己的飲食、衣物的質地和顏色,和自己僕人的美貌。他的衣物一般是從他在海濱的別墅羅內姆來的,是從拉努維阿姆來的。我們知道他是如何對待那個在塔斯丘佗請求他寬恕的收稅人的,這就是他總的行為方式。在他身上沒有什麼是嚴厲的,不可饒恕的或是暴力的。他對一切事物分別進行考察,就像有用不完的時間一樣,而且井井有條,毫不含糊,精力充沛,始終如一。那對蘇格拉底的紀錄也適用於他:他既能夠克制,又可以享受,而這些東西是很多人太過軟弱而難以克制的,他們很容易無節制地享受。而既能夠足夠強健地承受,又可以保持清醒的品質,是具有一個完美而不可征服的靈魂的人的標誌,正如他在馬克西默斯的疾病中所表現的一樣。
我感謝神明讓我擁有好的祖輩、好的父母、好的姐妹、好的教師、好的同伴、好的親戚和好的朋友,幾乎一切都是美好的。而且,我還要感謝神明的是,我從不冒犯他們之中的任何一個,儘管我的性情是只要有機會允許就可能做這樣的事情。但是,在他們的幫助下,還沒有這種機緣湊巧使我經受這種考驗。另外,我還要感謝神明的是,我很早就不是由祖父的妾撫養,這樣我可以保留我的青春之美,直到合適的時節甚至更晚的時辰才證明我的男性精力;我隸屬於一個統治者、一個父親,他能夠剔除我身上所有的驕傲,教會我這樣的知識,即一個人在皇宮裏生活是可以不需要衛兵、華麗服飾、火炬和塑像這類東西的;但一個人是有能力過自己喜歡的私生活的,並不因此而思想低劣、行動懈怠,因為他重視藉由一種適合於統治者的方式去作為公眾謀利所必須做的事情。我感謝神明給了這樣一個兄弟,他能夠將自己的道德品質喚醒我的警戒意識,同時用他自己的尊重和愛心來使我愉悅;感謝神明使我的孩子並不愚蠢或是有生理缺陷;感謝神明使我對華麗辭藻和詩詞歌賦和別的學問並不十分精通,如果我看到我在這些方面取得進步,那我可能將沉迷於其中;感謝神明使我很迅速就能夠給予那些撫育我長大的人應得的、他們願意得到的榮譽,而不延遲他們所對我給予的以後這樣做的期望,因為他們那時候還很年輕;感謝神明使我認識了阿珀洛尼厄斯、拉斯蒂克斯、馬克西默斯,使我對按照自然而生活,依賴神明及他們的賞賜、幫助和啟示留下了清晰而鞏固的印象,沒有什麼能夠阻止我立刻按照自然而生活,儘管還是因為自己的過錯,因為我沒有注意到神明的勸誡(我幾乎可以說是神明的直接勸誡)而沒有達到這個目標;感謝神明使我如此長久地處在這樣一種生活中身體仍然保持健康;我從未達到本尼迪克特或希歐多爾圖斯的高度,但陷入熱戀之後,我還是被治癒了;雖然我常常達不到拉斯蒂克斯的那種氣質,但是我從來不做能讓我有機會後悔的事情;雖然我母親的早逝是命運使然,但她在生命的最後一年中陪伴我度過;無論何時,我幫助任何需要幫助的人,或者在別的情況,我從不感到自己缺乏這樣做的手段;而我自己卻從來沒有這樣的需要,或者說從他人那裏得到任何東西;感謝神明讓我擁有一位這般溫柔、神情和樸素的妻子;感謝神明讓我有許多優秀的教師來教導我的孩子;感謝神明藉由夢和其他方法,讓我發現了各種治療咳血和頭暈的藥方……而且,當我傾心於哲學之時,我並未落到任何一個詭辯家之手,沒有浪費時間去書寫歷史作品,研究三段論法的解決方法,或是探究天國的表面現象;而以上這些都需要神明和命運的幫助。
寫於阿奎,當時正在與誇地族人進行作戰。
1From my grandfather Verus I learned good morals and the government of my temper.
2From the reputation and remembrance of my father, modesty and a manly character.
3From my mother, piety and beneficence, and abstinence, not only from evil deeds, but even from evil thoughts; and further, simplicity in my way of living, far removed from the habits of the rich.
4From my great-grandfather, not to have frequented public schools, and to have had good teachers at home, and to know that on such things a man should spend liberally.
5From my governor, to be neither of the green nor of the blue party at the games in the Circus, nor a partizan either of the Parmularius or the Scutarius at the gladiators' fights; from him too I learned endurance of labour, and to want little, and to work with my own hands, and not to meddle with other people's affairs, and not to be ready to listen to slander.
6From Diognetus, not to busy myself about trifling things, and not to give credit to what was said by miracle-workers and jugglers about incantations and the driving away of daemons and such things; and not to breed quails for fighting, nor to give myself up passionately to such things; and to endure freedom of speech; and to have become intimate with philosophy; and to have been a hearer, first of Bacchius, then of Tandasis and Marcianus; and to have written dialogues in my youth; and to have desired a plank bed and skin, and whatever else of the kind belongs to the Grecian discipline.
7From Rusticus I received the impression that my character required improvement and discipline; and from him I learned not to be led astray to sophistic emulation, nor to writing on speculative matters, nor to delivering little hortatory orations, nor to showing myself off as a man who practises much discipline, or does benevolent acts in order to make a display; and to abstain from rhetoric, and poetry, and fine writing; and not to walk about in the house in my outdoor dress, nor to do other things of the kind; and to write my letters with simplicity, like the letter which Rusticus wrote from Sinuessa to my mother; and with respect to those who have offended me by words, or done me wrong, to be easily disposed to be pacified and reconciled, as soon as they have shown a readiness to be reconciled; and to read carefully, and not to be satisfied with a superficial understanding of a book; nor hastily to give my assent to those who talk overmuch; and I am indebted to him for being acquainted with the discourses of Epictetus, which he communicated to me out of his own collection.
8From Apollonius I learned freedom of will and undeviating steadiness of purpose; and to look to nothing else, not even for a moment, except to reason; and to be always the same, in sharp pains, on the occasion of the loss of a child, and in long illness; and to see clearly in a living example that the same man can be both most resolute and yielding, and not peevish in giving his instruction; and to have had before my eyes a man who clearly considered his experience and his skill in expounding philosophical principles as the smallest of his merits; and from him I learned how to receive from friends what are esteemed favours, without being either humbled by them or letting them pass unnoticed.
9From Sextus, a benevolent disposition, and the example of a family governed in a fatherly manner, and the idea of living conformably to nature; and gravity without affectation, and to look carefully after the interests of friends, and to tolerate ignorant persons, and those who form opinions without consideration: he had the power of readily accommodating himself to all, so that intercourse with him was more agreeable than any flattery; and at the same time he was most highly venerated by those who associated with him: and he had the faculty both of discovering and ordering, in an intelligent and methodical way, the principles necessary for life; and he never showed anger or any other passion, but was entirely free from passion, and also most affectionate; and he could express approbation without noisy display, and he possessed much knowledge without ostentation.
From Alexander the grammarian, to refrain from fault-finding, and not in a reproachful way to chide those who uttered any barbarous or solecistic or strange-sounding expression; but dexterously to introduce the very expression which ought to have been used, and in the way of answer or giving confirmation, or joining in an inquiry about the thing itself, not about the word, or by some other fit suggestion.
From Fronto I learned to observe what envy, and duplicity, and hypocrisy are in a tyrant, and that generally those among us who are called Patricians are rather deficient in paternal affection.
From Alexander the Platonic, not frequently nor without necessity to say to any one, or to write in a letter, that I have no leisure; nor continually to excuse the neglect of duties required by our relation to those with whom we live, by alleging urgent occupations.
From Catulus, not to be indifferent when a friend finds fault, even if he should find fault without reason, but to try to restore him to his usual disposition; and to be ready to speak well of teachers, as it is reported of Domitius and Athenodotus; and to love my children truly.
From my brother Severus, to love my kin, and to love truth, and to love justice; and through him I learned to know Thrasea, Helvidius, Cato, Dion, Brutus; and from him I received the idea of a polity in which there is the same law for all, a polity administered with regard to equal rights and equal freedom of speech, and the idea of a kingly government which respects most of all the freedom of the governed; I learned from him also consistency and undeviating steadiness in my regard for philosophy; and a disposition to do good, and to give to others readily, and to cherish good hopes, and to believe that I am loved by my friends; and in him I observed no concealment of his opinions with respect to those whom he condemned, and that his friends had no need to conjecture what he wished or did not wish, but it was quite plain.
From Maximus I learned self-government, and not to be led aside by anything; and cheerfulness in all circumstances, as well as in illness; and a just admixture in the moral character of sweetness and dignity, and to do what was set before me without complaining. I observed that everybody believed that he thought as he spoke, and that in all that he did he never had any bad intention; and he never showed amazement and surprise, and was never in a hurry, and never put off doing a thing, nor was perplexed nor dejected, nor did he ever laugh to disguise his vexation, nor, on the other hand, was he ever passionate or suspicious. He was accustomed to do acts of beneficence, and was ready to forgive, and was free from all falsehood; and he presented the appearance of a man who could not be diverted from right rather than of a man who had been improved. I observed, too, that no man could ever think that he was despised by Maximus, or ever venture to think himself a better man. He had also the art of being humorous in an agreeable way.
In my father I observed mildness of temper, and unchangeable resolution in the things which he had determined after due deliberation; and no vainglory in those things which men call honours; and a love of labour and perseverance; and a readiness to listen to those who had anything to propose for the common weal; and undeviating firmness in giving to every man according to his deserts; and a knowledge derived from experience of the occasions for vigorous action and for remission. And I observed that he had overcome all passion for boys; and he considered himself no more than any other citizen; and he released his friends from all obligation to sup with him or to attend him of necessity when he went abroad, and those who had failed to accompany him, by reason of any urgent circumstances, always found him the same. I observed too his habit of careful inquiry in all matters of deliberation, and his persistency, and that he never stopped his investigation through being satisfied with appearances which first present themselves; and that his disposition was to keep his friends, and not to be soon tired of them, nor yet to be extravagant in his affection; and to be satisfied on all occasions, and cheerful; and to foresee things a long way off, and to provide for the smallest without display; and to check immediately popular applause and all flattery; and to be ever watchful over the things which were necessary for the administration of the empire, and to be a good manager of the expenditure, and patiently to endure the blame which he got for such conduct; and he was neither superstitious with respect to the gods, nor did he court men by gifts or by trying to please them, or by flattering the populace; but he showed sobriety in all things and firmness, and never any mean thoughts or action, nor love of novelty. And the things which conduce in any way to the commodity of life, and of which fortune gives an abundant supply, he used without arrogance and without excusing himself; so that when he had them, he enjoyed them without affectation, and when he had them not, he did not want them. No one could ever say of him that he was either a sophist or a home-bred flippant slave or a pedant; but every one acknowledged him to be a man ripe, perfect, above flattery, able to manage his own and other men's affairs. Besides this, he honoured those who were true philosophers, and he did not reproach those who pretended to be philosophers, nor yet was he easily led by them. He was also easy in conversation, and he made himself agreeable without any offensive affectation. He took a reasonable care of his body's health, not as one who was greatly attached to life, nor out of regard to personal appearance, nor yet in a careless way, but so that, through his own attention, he very seldom stood in need of the physician's art or of medicine or external applications. He was most ready to give way without envy to those who possessed any particular faculty, such as that of eloquence or knowledge of the law or of morals, or of anything else; and he gave them his help, that each might enjoy reputation according to his deserts; and he always acted conformably to the institutions of his country, without showing any affectation of doing so. Further, he was not fond of change nor unsteady, but he loved to stay in the same places, and to employ himself about the same things; and after his paroxysms of headache he came immediately fresh and vigorous to his usual occupations. His secrets were not but very few and very rare, and these only about public matters; and he showed prudence and economy in the exhibition of the public spectacles and the construction of public buildings, his donations to the people, and in such things, for he was a man who looked to what ought to be done, not to the reputation which is got by a man's acts. He did not take the bath at unseasonable hours; he was not fond of building houses, nor curious about what he ate, nor about the texture and colour of his clothes, nor about the beauty of his slaves. His dress came from Lorium, his villa on the coast, and from Lanuvium generally. We know how he behaved to the toll-collector at Tusculum who asked his pardon; and such was all his behaviour. There was in him nothing harsh, nor implacable, nor violent, nor, as one may say, anything carried to the sweating point; but he examined all things severally, as if he had abundance of time, and without confusion, in an orderly way, vigorously and consistently. And that might be applied to him which is recorded of Socrates, that he was able both to abstain from, and to enjoy, those things which many are too weak to abstain from, and cannot enjoy without excess. But to be strong enough both to bear the one and to be sober in the other is the mark of a man who has a perfect and invincible soul, such as he showed in the illness of Maximus.
To the gods I am indebted for having good grandfathers, good parents, a good sister, good teachers, good associates, good kinsmen and friends, nearly everything good. Further, I owe it to the gods that I was not hurried into any offence against any of them, though I had a disposition which, if opportunity had offered, might have led me to do something of this kind; but, through their favour, there never was such a concurrence of circumstances as put me to the trial. Further, I am thankful to the gods that I was not longer brought up with my grandfather's concubine, and that I preserved the flower of my youth, and that I did not make proof of my virility before the proper season, but even deferred the time; that I was subjected to a ruler and a father who was able to take away all pride from me, and to bring me to the knowledge that it is possible for a man to live in a palace without wanting either guards or embroidered dresses, or torches and statues, and such-like show; but that it is in such a man's power to bring himself very near to the fashion of a private person, without being for this reason either meaner in thought, or more remiss in action, with respect to the things which must be done for the public interest in a manner that befits a ruler. I thank the gods for giving me such a brother, who was able by his moral character to rouse me to vigilance over myself, and who, at the same time, pleased me by his respect and affection; that my children have not been stupid nor deformed in body; that I did not make more proficiency in rhetoric, poetry, and the other studies, in which I should perhaps have been completely engaged, if I had seen that I was making progress in them; that I made haste to place those who brought me up in the station of honour, which they seemed to desire, without putting them off with hope of my doing it some time after, because they were then still young; that I knew Apollonius, Rusticus, Maximus; that I received clear and frequent impressions about living according to nature, and what kind of a life that is, so that, so far as depended on the gods, and their gifts, and help, and inspirations, nothing hindered me from forthwith living according to nature, though I still fall short of it through my own fault, and through not observing the admonitions of the gods, and, I may almost say, their direct instructions; that my body has held out so long in such a kind of life; that I never touched either Benedicta or Theodotus, and that, after having fallen into amatory passions, I was cured; and, though I was often out of humour with Rusticus, I never did anything of which I had occasion to repent; that, though it was my mother's fate to die young, she spent the last years of her life with me; that, whenever I wished to help any man in his need, or on any other occasion, I was never told that I had not the means of doing it; and that to myself the same necessity never happened, to receive anything from another; that I have such a wife, so obedient, and so affectionate, and so simple; that I had abundance of good masters for my children; and that remedies have been shown to me by dreams, both others, and against bloodspitting and giddiness...; and that, when I had an inclination to philosophy, I did not fall into the hands of any sophist, and that I did not waste my time on writers of histories, or in the resolution of syllogisms, or occupy myself about the investigation of appearances in the heavens; for all these things require the help of the gods and fortune.
Among the Quadi at the Granua.
Book Two
卷 二
把每一天當作生命的最後一天
1一日之始,我就對自己說,我將會遇到好管閒事的人,忘恩負義的人,愚昧無知的人,不善交際的人,欺騙、嫉妒別人的人。他們染有這些品行是因為他們不懂得什麼是善良和邪惡。而我,一個已經懂得善良是美好的、邪惡是醜陋的人,一個已經懂得做錯事的人們是與我血脈相連的,我們不僅有著相同的血液和皮膚,而且分享同樣的理智和同一份神性的人,絕不可被他們之中的任何一個人傷害,因為沒有人可以將醜惡強加在我身上;我也不可對他們生氣或者怨恨,因為我們因共同合作而生,就像雙腳、雙手、上下眼瞼和上下排牙齒一樣。那麼,相互反對就是違反本性了,就是自尋煩惱和自我排斥。
2無論我是什麼人,都只是一個小小的肉體、呼吸和支配的部分;扔掉書本,不再讓自己分心:這是不允許的;就像你就要面臨死亡,那就輕視自己的肉體吧;它只是血液和骨骼的一個網路組織,只是一種神經、靜脈和動脈的結構。再來看看呼吸吧,空氣並不總是一樣的,但每時每刻總有空氣吸進呼出。再次就是支配的部分:你是一位老人,不再成為它的奴隸;不再像一個玩偶一樣被繩子牽絆做著反社會的事情;不再對現狀不滿,或者逃避未來。
3從神明那兒來的一切都充滿了神意。那些來自命運的東西並不脫離本性,或是與神意毫不相干。一切事物都從那裏流出,這是一種必然,為著整個宇宙的利益,而你是其中的一部分。但本性的整體所帶來的,對本性的每一個部分都是有利的,有助於保持本性。現在,宇宙是藉由改變元素從而改變事物元素的構成來保存的。讓這些原則在你身上發揮足夠的作用吧,讓它們決定你的意見吧。丟棄對書本的渴望,這樣你就不會在抱怨中死去,而是在歡樂、真誠和對神明的衷心感謝中逝去。
4記住你遠離這些東西已經有多久了,你多久才接到神明賜予的一次機會而不去抓住機會。現在你終於感知到自己是宇宙的一部分了,領悟到作為宇宙的管理者的你的存在,只是宇宙中的一段流逝。一段有限的時間已經為你劃定,如果你不驅散思想中的雲霧,去利用這段時間,它就會流逝,而你也隨之逝去,再也無法返回了。
5每時每刻都要堅定地思考,就像一個羅馬人和男人一樣,以完整而樸實的尊嚴、友愛、自由和正義去做手頭上的事情,使自己從其他一切思想中解放出來。如果你做生活中的每一件事都像做生命中的最後一件事那樣,拋卻一切粗心大意和對理性的強烈嫌惡,拋卻一切偽善、自私和對已經分配給你的命運的不滿,那麼你將能使自己得到解脫。你會明白,一個人只要抓住這麼少的東西就能夠過著寧靜的生活,就像神明的存在一樣;因為對神明來說,他們並不需要索取更多的東西。
6你自己做錯了,你自己做錯了,我的靈魂啊,你不再有機會使自己榮耀;每個人的人生都是充足的。但你的人生正接近尾聲,而你的靈魂關注的不是本身,而是將自己的快樂寄託於他人的靈魂裏。
7外界加於你身上的事情讓你分心嗎?給自己時間去學習一些新鮮和美好的東西,停止兜圈子吧。但你同時必須避免被帶入另一條道路。因為那些在生活中被自己弄得筋疲力盡的人也是放浪者,因為他們沒有一個目標去指引他們的每一個行動,總而言之,他們的總體思想都是毫無目標的。
8不要注意別人心裏在想什麼,一個人很少被看作是不幸福的;但那些不關注自己內心想法的人一定是不幸福的。
9這些你必須牢記在心:什麼是整體本性,什麼是我的本性,二者之間如何發生聯繫,我的本性是一個什麼性質的整體的一部分,沒有人會阻止你按照你是其中一部分的本性來說話和做事。
在他比較各種惡行時,西奧菲拉斯圖斯就像一個真正的哲學家一樣說(這種比較就像一個人按照人類的共同概念所做的比喻):因欲望而犯罪的人比因憤怒而犯罪的人更應該受到譴責。因為因憤怒而激動的人看來是被某種痛苦和潛意識裏的患病而失去了理性;但因欲望而犯罪的人,被愉悅所戰勝,他的犯罪的方式更放縱和更懦弱。接著,他又用一種配得上哲學的方式說,因愉悅而犯罪比因痛苦而犯罪更應該受譴責;總之,前者似乎是先被別人冒犯,痛苦被迫轉為憤怒;後者則是被自己的衝動驅使而犯罪,被欲望驅使而做錯事。
既然你很可能在此時離開人世,那就相應地整理你的每一個行動和思想吧。但要從芸芸眾生中離開,如果有神明存在,那並不是什麼可怕的事情,因為神明不會使你捲入邪惡;但如果它們確實不存在,或者如果他們對人類的事務並不關心,那麼我生活在一個沒有神明或神意的宇宙裏又有什麼意義呢?但事實上它們是存在的,它們並不關心人類的事務,並且它們已經將一切手段都放入人的力量之中,使人類不陷入真正的惡。至於其他的惡,如果有的話,神明也不會讓人陷入惡中。一個人是完全有力量決定自己是否會陷入惡中的。既然它們不會使人變壞,又怎麼會使人的生活變壞呢?宇宙的本性可能會忽略它們,但既不是因為無知,也不是因為有知,也不是沒有力量去防衛或者糾正這些事情,更不是宇宙的本性可能犯了一個巨大的錯誤 使好事和壞事不加區分地發生在好人和壞人身上,而這並不是因為它缺乏力量或者技巧。但肯定的是,死亡和生存、榮耀和恥辱、痛苦和快樂以及所有這些都同等地發生在好人和壞人身上,成為使我們變得更好或更壞的東西。因此,他們既不是好的也不是壞的。
人只能活在當下
所有這一切發生得多快呀,在宇宙中是事物本身消失,在時間中是它們的記憶消失。這就是一切可感知的事物,尤其是以快樂為誘餌或是以痛苦為恐嚇的事物,或是那些如蒸汽般遠播國外的浮名的性質。它們是多麼無用、可鄙、骯髒、腐壞和易逝啊 所有這一切都是理智能力需要注意的。理智能力還需注意的是那些以發表意見和言論博取生命的人,注意死亡是什麼,以及這樣一個事實,即一個人觀察死亡本身,藉由反省的抽象力量將他想像中關於死亡的一切分解成各個部分,那麼他就會把死亡視為只不過是自然運轉的一個部分;如果一個人害怕自然的運轉,那他就是個孩子。然而,這不僅僅是自然運轉的一部分,而且是有益於實現自然目標的事情。理智能力還需注意人是如何接近神性的,運用人的哪一個部分去接近神性,以及這個部分是在什麼時候這樣做的。
沒有什麼比這更可悲的了:一個人旋轉著穿越一切,就像詩人所說的那樣,打聽地下的事情,臆測鄰居內心的想法,而不懂得只要專注於自己內心的神並真誠地尊崇祂就足夠了。尊崇自己的神包括避免激情、自私和對神明和別人的不滿,保持內心的純潔。因為來自神明的東西是具有優越性的、值得我們崇敬的;而來自人的東西,由於我們和他們存在血緣關係,我們也是應該珍重的;有時他們甚至在某種程度上因對善惡的無知而引起我們的憐憫;這一缺陷不亞於那些剝奪我們分清黑白是非的力量的東西。
儘管你希望活到三千年,甚至數萬年,但你仍然要記住,任何人失去的不是什麼其他的生活,而是他現在的生活;任何人過著的不是其他的生活,而是他現在過著的生活。因此,生命的長久或短暫都是一樣的。儘管已經逝去的是不一樣的,但現在對於所有人都是一樣的。因而,逝去的東西看起來僅僅是一個瞬間。因為一個人既不能失去過去,也不能失去未來,因為如果一個人什麼都沒有,那麼別人又怎麼從他身上奪走這些東西呢?這兩件事情你一定要牢記於心:第一,來自永恆的東西猶如形式,是在一個圓圈中打轉輪迴的,它決定了一個人在一百年、兩百年或是無限的時間裏是否看見相同的東西;第二,最長壽的人和最短命的人失去的東西都是一樣的。因為現在是一個人唯一能夠被人剝奪的東西,如果這真的是他唯一擁有的,那麼一個人就不可能失去他沒有的東西。
記住一切都是意見。因為犬儒派摩尼穆斯所說的話是很顯然的,如果一個人注意從中汲取教益,這些真話的用途也是很明顯的。
人的靈魂的確是會自我摧殘的:首先是在當它成為或者可能成為一個膿瘡、一個宇宙中的腫瘤的時候。因為對任何發生的事情感到憤怒就意味著我們與自然的分離;第二,靈魂的自我摧殘發生在當它被從人身上移除,或是以傷害為目的靠近人的時候,比如那些憤怒的人的靈魂;第三,靈魂的自我摧殘發生在它被快樂或痛苦戰勝的時候;第四,當它扮演一個角色,言行不真誠的時候;第五,當它允許自己有任何無目標的行為,做任何不加考慮和不加辨別的事,因為甚至是最小的事情也需要一個參照才能做對,而理性動物的目標是遵循理性和最古老的城邦的法律。
人的一生只是一個時間點,物質處於一種流逝中,感知是遲鈍的,整個身體的結構是容易腐爛的,靈魂是一個漩渦,命運是難以捉摸的,名聲是不根據理性來判斷的。總而言之,一切屬於身體的東西只是一條溪流,一切屬於靈魂的東西只是一個夢幻。生活是一場戰爭,一個過客的旅居,名聲過後就會被遺忘。那麼什麼是能夠主宰一個人的東西?只有一件而且是唯一的一件,那就是「哲學」。但這包括保護人內心的神,使之不自我摧殘和受到傷害,超越一切痛苦和快樂,不做毫無目標的事;拒絕虛偽和欺瞞,漠視別人做或不做任何事情的需求;此外,接受所發生的一切、所分配給他的份額,不管它們是什麼,不管它們來自哪裡,都把它們當作從自己的地方來一樣;最後,以愉快的心情等待死亡,就像與構成每一樣生物的元素的分解一樣。但如果在每一個事物的不斷變化中元素本身並沒有受到損害,那麼人又何必對一切元素的改變和分解感到憂懼呢?這是按照本性進行的,而本性的東西是沒有惡的。