章節試閱
歡迎來到古墓路43號
如果這是你第一次來這裡，有幾件事必須先了解一下：
古墓路43號是位在伊利諾州鬼城一棟擁有三十二間半臥室的房子。
有些人叫它史艾書宅邸，因為這是橄欖．C．史艾書在一八七四年興建的。
史艾書女士是位高雅的淑女，一輩子都在寫懸疑小說，並親自配上插圖。
不過，從來沒有人讀過她的懸疑小說——除了那些拒絕幫她出書的出版商。
過世前不久，橄欖．C．史艾書誓言「陰魂不散」，無論是在她的房子或鬼城——除非有人出版她的懸疑小說。
橄欖確實說到做到。舉凡偷瑪芬蛋糕或跟圖書館借書，她總讓其他人感覺到她的存在。偶爾，她還會浮現在鬼城古董店的一面古鏡裡。
（不過沒有人成功捕捉過她的身影就是了。）
她過世八十幾年後，雷斯和戴安．希旺教授買下史艾書宅邸。
希旺夫婦是超自然現象界教授。他們希望靠記錄橄欖．C．史艾書的鬼影研究成果大撈一筆。
無奈橄欖不肯合作。十二年來，她拒絕和雷斯及戴安．希旺教授有任何聯絡。
為什麼？因為她覺得這對夫妻太貪心了。
Welcome to 43 Old Cemetery Road
If this is the first you’ve heard of 43 Old Cemetery Road, you should be aware of the following facts:
43 Old Cemetery Road is the address of a 32½-room house in Ghastly, Illinois.
Some people call the house Spence Mansion because it was built in 1874 by Olive C. Spence.
Miss Spence was an elegant woman who spent her life writing and illustrating mysteries.
But no one ever read her mysteries—except the hundreds of publishers who refused them.
Shortly before her death, Olive C. Spence made a solemn vow to haunt her house and the town of Ghastly, Illinois, forever—or until one of her mysteries was published.
And haunt it she did. From stealing muffins to borrowing library books, Olive made her presence known. From time to time she even appeared in an old mirror at Ghastly Antiques.
(Attempts to photograph Olive’s image were never successful.)
More than 80 years after Spence’s death, Les and Diane Hope bought Spence Mansion.
The Hopes were professors of the paranormal. They hoped to document the ghost of Olive C. Spence and make a lot of money off their research.
But Olive refused to cooperate. For 12 long years, she declined to have any contact with Professors Les and Diane Hope.
Why? Because she thought they were greedy.
橄欖想得沒錯。
不過，和很多壞大人一樣，雷斯和戴安．希旺教授卻有個完美兒子西摩，誕生在史艾書宅邸。
（那是西摩的貓。他叫黑影。）
西摩和橄欖．C．史艾書很快就變成最好的朋友。
橄欖和西摩也跟伊格艾生契．B．顧仁願變成好朋友（經過一番波折以後）。顧仁願是知名作家，在雷斯和戴安．希旺教授拋棄西摩的那年暑假租下史艾書宅邸。
於是，伊格艾生契．B．顧仁願、橄欖．C．史艾書、西摩．希旺三人合力完成一本鬼故事，名為《古墓路43號》。伊格艾生契和橄欖負責寫故事，西摩負責畫插圖。
他們四處發送書的前三章，請有興趣繼續閱讀的讀者寄三美元到古墓路43號。
唔……結果看樣子，似乎每個人都想讀下去。他們收到世界各地幾千份的訂單，伊格艾生契、橄欖、西摩都非常開心。
這筆稿費大有幫助。西摩用其中一部分，從寧願住在巴黎旅館也不要他的爸媽手裡買下史艾書宅邸。（沒錯！有的爸媽就是●這麼●誇張。）
相較之下，伊格艾生契和橄欖實在好太多了，雖然伊格艾生契偶爾還是會因為遇到瓶頸而鬧情緒。
橄欖有時也會抓狂，尤其是眼鏡失蹤的時候。
不然，古墓路的一切簡直好得嚇人，直到九月的某一天，郵筒裡冒出下面的這封信……
Olive was right.
But as so often happens with wretched adults, Les and Diane Hope had a perfectly wonderful son named Seymour, who was born at Spence Mansion.
(↑That’s Seymour’s cat. His name is Shadow.)
Seymour Hope and Olive C. Spence quickly became best friends.
Olive and Seymour also (after a somewhat rocky start) became friends with Ignatius B. Grumply, a famous author who rented Spence Mansion the summer Les and Diane Hope abandoned Seymour.
Together, Ignatius B. Grumply, Olive C. Spence, and Seymour Hope collaborated on the first three chapters of a ghost story, which they called 43 Old Cemetery Road. Ignatius and Olive wrote the words; Seymour drew the pictures.
They gave away the first three chapters of the book and asked anyone who wanted to read more chapters to kindly send $3 to 43 Old Cemetery Road.
Well, everyone, it seemed, wanted to read more. Ignatius, Olive, and Seymour were delighted by the thousands of orders they received from all over the world.
The money was nice, too. Seymour used part of it to buy Spence Mansion from his parents, who preferred living without him in a hotel in Paris. (Yes, some parents really are that awful.)
And Ignatius and Olive really were much nicer--even though Ignatius did get a bit grumpy now and then when he got writer’s block.
And sometimes Olive was cranky, especially when she misplaced her reading glasses.
But other than that, everything at 43 Old Cemetery Road was frighteningly perfect until one day in September, when the following letter arrived . . .
/09.05/
ＴＯ：伊格艾生契．B．顧仁願先生 收
伊利諾州，鬼城
古墓路43號
ＦＲＯＭ：國際兒童暨青少年安全保護運動
20505華盛頓特區，官僚大道2號
執行長：獨裁．泰特
────────────────────────────
親愛的顧仁願先生：
據我了解，西摩．希旺和你住在一起，身邊沒有父母照顧。
身為「國際兒童暨青少年安全保護運動」（簡稱IMSPOOKY*）執行長，我有義務保護全世界的兒童遠離危險人士、危險情況、危險思想。
請寫信說明你是以什麼名義照顧西摩．希旺。你是那孩子的親戚？法定監護人？還是受僱的保母？
另外，我還聽說西摩．希旺今年沒到學校報到。這件事也請一併解釋。
具有威信的
獨裁．泰特**
*：此簡稱「IMSPOOKY」是全名The International Movement for the Safety & Protection Of Our Kids & Youth的頭字縮寫，英文中雖無此字，卻會令人聯想成「毛骨悚然、幽靈般地」（spooky）的反義字，暗含反諷，也有反對幽靈、反鬼的意思。
**：原文Dick Tater音近「獨裁者」（dictater），中譯名為「獨裁．泰特」。
/September 5/
TO: Ignatius B. Grumply
43 Old Cemetery Road, Ghastly, Illinois
FROM: International Movement for the Safety & Protection
Of Our Kids & Youth
2 Bureaucracy Avenue, Washington, D.C.20505
Dick Tater Director
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Mr. Grumply,
It has come to my attention that Seymour Hope is living with you in a domicile without the benefit of his parents.
As director of the International Movement for the Safety & Protection Of Our Kids & Youth (IMSPOOKY), it is my duty to see that every child in the world is protected from dangerous people, circumstances, and ideas.
Please submit a letter explaining by what authority you are caring for Seymour Hope. Are you a relative, the boy’s legal guardian, or a hired caregiver?
Also, I understand that Seymour Hope has not yet reported for school this year. Please explain that, too.
Authoritatively,
Dick Tater
/09.09/
TO：IMSPOOKY執行長：迪克•泰特先生 收
20505華盛頓特區，官僚大道2號
FROM：伊格艾生契．B．顧仁願
常駐作家
古墓路43號2樓，伊利諾州，鬼城
－－－－－－－─────────────────────
泰特先生：
我不是西摩的親戚，不是他的法定監護人，更不是他的保姆。我只是暑假租下一棟老房子時，剛好在史艾書宅邸發現他而已。因為租賃合約裡一條奇特的規定，於是由我接收這孩子——他爸媽三個月前去歐洲巡迴演講時拋棄他了。
從那時候起，西摩就跟橄欖．C．史艾書和我住在這裡。我們三個人組成一間出版社。至於我們擅長什麼題材？鬼故事。
在搬進史艾書宅邸以前，我得承認我照顧孩子的經驗不多。甚至還得承認，我根本不●喜歡●小孩。但是橄欖教會我很多東西。對西摩而言，她是個很棒的母親角色。我也很高興的向你報告，西摩在古墓路43號既安全又快樂。
至於上學的部分，是橄欖和我要西摩待在家裡的。一個十一歲的小男生能自己出版鬼故事，還有什麼是比這更好的教育？
若你尚有任何問題，請儘管寫信。
伊格艾生契．B．顧仁願變成好朋友（經過一番波折以後）。顧仁願是知名作家，在雷斯和戴安．希旺教授拋棄西摩的那年暑假租下史艾書宅邸。
於是，伊格艾生契．B．顧仁願、橄欖．C．史艾書、西摩．希旺三人合力完成一本鬼故事，名為《古墓路43號》。伊格艾生契和橄欖負責寫故事，西摩負責畫插圖。
他們四處發送書的前三章，請有興趣繼續閱讀的讀者寄三美元到古墓路43號。
唔……結果看樣子，似乎每個人都想讀下去。他們收到世界各地幾千份的訂單，伊格艾生契、橄欖、西摩都非常開心。
這筆稿費大有幫助。西摩用其中一部分，從寧願住在巴黎旅館也不要他的爸媽手裡買下史艾書宅邸。（沒錯！有的爸媽就是●這麼●誇張。）
相較之下，伊格艾生契和橄欖實在好太多了，雖然伊格艾生契偶爾還是會因為遇到瓶頸而鬧情緒。
橄欖有時也會抓狂，尤其是眼鏡失蹤的時候。
不然，古墓路的一切簡直好得嚇人，直到九月的某一天，郵筒裡冒出下面的這封信……
Olive was right.
But as so often happens with wretched adults, Les and Diane Hope had a perfectly wonderful son named Seymour, who was born at Spence Mansion.
(↑That’s Seymour’s cat. His name is Shadow.)
Seymour Hope and Olive C. Spence quickly became best friends.
Olive and Seymour also (after a somewhat rocky start) became friends with Ignatius B. Grumply, a famous author who rented Spence Mansion the summer Les and Diane Hope abandoned Seymour.
Together, Ignatius B. Grumply, Olive C. Spence, and Seymour Hope collaborated on the first three chapters of a ghost story, which they called 43 Old Cemetery Road. Ignatius and Olive wrote the words; Seymour drew the pictures.
They gave away the first three chapters of the book and asked anyone who wanted to read more chapters to kindly send $3 to 43 Old Cemetery Road.
Well, everyone, it seemed, wanted to read more. Ignatius, Olive, and Seymour were delighted by the thousands of orders they received from all over the world.
The money was nice, too. Seymour used part of it to buy Spence Mansion from his parents, who preferred living without him in a hotel in Paris. (Yes, some parents really are that awful.)
And Ignatius and Olive really were much nicer--even though Ignatius did get a bit grumpy now and then when he got writer’s block.
And sometimes Olive was cranky, especially when she misplaced her reading glasses.
But other than that, everything at 43 Old Cemetery Road was frighteningly perfect until one day in September, when the following letter arrived . . .
／09.05／
ＴＯ：伊格艾生契．B．顧仁願先生 收
伊利諾州，鬼城
古墓路43號
ＦＲＯＭ：國際兒童暨青少年安全保護運動
20505華盛頓特區，官僚大道2號
執行長：獨裁．泰特
────────────────────────────
親愛的顧仁願先生：
據我了解，西摩．希旺和你住在一起，身邊沒有父母照顧。
身為「國際兒童暨青少年安全保護運動」（簡稱IMSPOOKY*）執行長，我有義務保護全世界的兒童遠離危險人士、危險情況、危險思想。
請寫信說明你是以什麼名義照顧西摩．希旺。你是那孩子的親戚？法定監護人？還是受僱的保母？
另外，我還聽說西摩．希旺今年沒到學校報到。這件事也請一併解釋。
具有威信的
獨裁．泰特**
*：此簡稱「IMSPOOKY」是全名The International Movement for the Safety & Protection Of Our Kids & Youth的頭字縮寫，英文中雖無此字，卻會令人聯想成「毛骨悚然、幽靈般地」（spooky）的反義字，暗含反諷，也有反對幽靈、反鬼的意思。
**：原文Dick Tater音近「獨裁者」（dictater），中譯名為「獨裁．泰特」。
／September 5／
TO: Ignatius B. Grumply
43 Old Cemetery Road, Ghastly, Illinois
FROM: International Movement for the Safety & Protection
Of Our Kids & Youth
2 Bureaucracy Avenue, Washington, D.C.20505
Dick Tater Director
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Mr. Grumply,
It has come to my attention that Seymour Hope is living with you in a domicile without the benefit of his parents.
As director of the International Movement for the Safety & Protection Of Our Kids & Youth (IMSPOOKY), it is my duty to see that every child in the world is protected from dangerous people, circumstances, and ideas.
Please submit a letter explaining by what authority you are caring for Seymour Hope. Are you a relative, the boy’s legal guardian, or a hired caregiver?
Also, I understand that Seymour Hope has not yet reported for school this year. Please explain that, too.
Authoritatively,
Dick Tater
／09.09／
TO：IMSPOOKY執行長：迪克‧泰特先生 收
20505華盛頓特區，官僚大道2號
FROM：伊格艾生契．B．顧仁願
常駐作家
古墓路43號2樓，伊利諾州，鬼城
－－－－－－－─────────────────────
泰特先生：
我不是西摩的親戚，不是他的法定監護人，更不是他的保姆。我只是暑假租下一棟老房子時，剛好在史艾書宅邸發現他而已。因為租賃合約裡一條奇特的規定，於是由我接收這孩子——他爸媽三個月前去歐洲巡迴演講時拋棄他了。
從那時候起，西摩就跟橄欖．C．史艾書和我住在這裡。我們三個人組成一間出版社。至於我們擅長什麼題材？鬼故事。
在搬進史艾書宅邸以前，我得承認我照顧孩子的經驗不多。甚至還得承認，我根本不●喜歡●小孩。但是橄欖教會我很多東西。對西摩而言，她是個很棒的母親角色。我也很高興的向你報告，西摩在古墓路43號既安全又快樂。
至於上學的部分，是橄欖和我要西摩待在家裡的。一個十一歲的小男生能自己出版鬼故事，還有什麼是比這更好的教育？
若你尚有任何問題，請儘管寫信。
伊格艾生契．B．顧仁願 上
／September 9／
IGNATIUS B. GRUMPLY
A Writer in Residence
43 Old Cemetery Road 2nd floor Ghastly, Illinois
TO：
Dick Tater
Director, International Movement for the
Safety & Protection Of Our Kids & Youth
2 Bureaucracy Avenue
Washington, D.C.20505
-------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Mr. Tater,
I’m neither Seymour’s relative nor his legal guardian nor a hired caregiver. I simply found the boy in Spence Mansion, an old house I rented for the summer. Through an odd clause in the lease, I acquired the boy from his parents, who abandoned him three months ago when they left on a lecture tour of Europe.
Since then, Seymour has been living here with Olive C. Spence and me. Together we’ve formed a publishing company. Our specialty? Ghost stories.
I’ll admit I had very little experience caring for children before I moved to Spence Mansion. I’ll further admit I didn’t even like children. But I’m learning from Olive. She’s a wonderful mother figure for Seymour, who I’m happy to report is safe and happy at 43 Old Cemetery Road.
As for school, Seymour has asked to be homeschooled by Olive and me. I can’t think of a finer education for an 11-year-old boy than publishing ghost stories.
If you have any more questions, please don’t hesitate to contact me.
Yours in the written word,
Ignatius B. Grumply
鬼城日報
九月十二日星期五 50分
編輯：克理夫‧漢爾 報導您的秘密就是我們的職責 早報
小男孩未與父母同住是「嚴重大事」
「國際兒童暨青少年安全保護運動」執行長迪克‧泰特已下令對十一歲的西摩．希旺展開安全調查。
泰特向〈鬼城日報〉透露，展開調查，是因為日前接獲一封匿名信。
「幸好有這樣的好公民，我才知道竟然有小男孩沒有和爸媽一起住。」泰特說：「他和一個名叫伊格艾生契．B．顧仁願的男人住在一起，那男人拿鬼故事填充孩子的幼小心靈，還說這樣叫教育。」
顧仁願並未否認自六月起，他便和西摩．希旺和橄欖．C．史艾書的鬼魂住在一起。
「這樣的安排很棒。」顧仁願向〈鬼城日報〉表示：「我住二樓，三樓則是西摩的臥室兼藝術工作室。橄欖大部分的時間都在圓頂閣樓，不過她也喜歡在屋子裡飄來飄去。」
被問到史艾書宅邸一整天的生活通常如何度過，顧仁願說：「我們一天在餐廳碰面三次，通常是橄欖煮菜、西摩擺餐具、我負責洗碗。我們一天會花一小時的時間討論我們的書，通常在午餐以後。其他時間，我們就獨立作業。」
泰特說他明天便會親自去史艾書宅邸展開調查。「我打算對這件嚴重大事追根究底。」泰特說。
IMSPOOKY執行長認為萬聖節對兒童有害
惡夢、頭痛、空虛。
「國際兒童暨青少年安全保護運動」(IMSPOOKY)執行長迪克‧泰特說，這還只是萬聖節的幾樣後遺症而已。
「是該時候禁止這種危險節日了。」泰特昨天在華盛頓特區一場記者會上表示。
泰特今晚將在「泰特秘方」的節目中做出關於萬聖節的重要宣布——這是每週在電視及廣
播更新安全新聞的新聞節目。
「國際兒童暨青少年安全保護運動」是由一群來自全世界的中年級學童家長，於今年不久前組成。
訂單源源不絕
短短一個月內，全世界超過250000位讀者紛紛預訂更多的《古墓路43號》——這是以史艾書宅邸的住址為名、目前正在進行的鬼故事。
「訂單蜂擁而至，」合著者伊格艾生契．B．顧仁願昨天表示：「橄欖、西摩和我都非常開心，也受寵若驚。」
顧仁願向讀者保證，接下來三章會在六星期內問世。「一定趕在萬聖節以前。」顧仁願打包票的說。
THE GHASTLY TIMES
Friday, September 12 ”Your Secrets Are Our Business” 50 cents
Cliff Hanger, Editor Morning Edition
Local Boy Living in Mansion Without Parents
Is ”Very Grave Matter”
Dick Tater, director of the International Movement for the Safety & Protection Of Our Kids & Youth (IMSPOOKY), has ordered an investigation into the safety of Seymour Hope, 11.
Tater told The Ghastly Times the investigation was prompted by an anonymous letter he received.
”Thanks to a concerned citizen I have learned that a young boy is living in a house without parents,” said Tater. ”Instead he’s living with a man named Ignatius B. Grumply, who is filling this poor child’s head with ghost stories and calling it an education.”
Grumply does not deny that since June he has lived at 43 Old Cemetery Road with Seymour Hope and the ghost of Olive C. Spence.
”It’s a lovely arrangement,” Grumply told The Ghastly Times. ”I occupy the second floor of the house. Seymour’s bedroom and art studio are located on the third floor. Olive spends much of her time in the cupola, though she likes to float around the rest of the house, too.”
When asked to describe a typical day at Spence Mansion, Grumply said: ”We meet for meals three times a day in the dining room. Olive usually cooks. Seymour sets the table. I’m in charge of dishwashing. We spend one hour a day, usually after lunch, discussing our book. Other than that, we work independently.”
Tater said his investigation will begin with a visit to Spence Mansion tomorrow. ”I plan to get to the bottom of this very grave matter,” Tater stated.
IMSPOOKY Director Says Halloween Bad for Children
Bad dreams. Head colds. Cavities.
These are just a few of the side effects associated with Halloween, said Dick Tater, director of the International Movement for the Safety & Protection Of Our Kids & ”It’s time we put an end to this dangerous holiday,” Tater said at a press conference yesterday in Washington, D.C.
Tater is expected to make an important announcement about Halloween tonight on Tater Tips, the safety news update broadcast weekly on TV and radio.
The IMSPOOKY was established earlier this year by a worldwide committee of concerned parents in middle school, often considered the most perilous place for youngsters.
Orders for More Chapters Keep Rolling In
In just one month, more than 250,000 readers from around the world have sent money requesting three more chapters of 43 Old Cemetery Road, a work-in-progress ghost story named for the street address of Spence Mansion.
”The response has been overwhelming,” coauthor Ignatius B. Grumply said yesterday. ”Olive, Seymour and I are delighted and flattered.”
Grumply assured readers that the next three chapters of the book would be ready in six weeks. ”Just in time for Halloween,” Grumply promised, then jumped jumped for joy.
歡迎來到古墓路43號 如果這是你第一次來這裡，有幾件事必須先了解一下： 古墓路43號是位在伊利諾州鬼城一棟擁有三十二間半臥室的房子。 有些人叫它史艾書宅邸，因為這是橄欖．C．史艾書在一八七四年興建的。 史艾書女士是位高雅的淑女，一輩子都在寫懸疑小說，並親自配上插圖。 不過，從來沒有人讀過她的懸疑小說——除了那些拒絕幫她出書的出版商。 過世前不久，橄欖．C．史艾書誓言「陰魂不散」，無論是在她的房子或鬼城——除非有人出版她的懸疑小說。 橄欖確實說到做到。舉凡偷瑪芬蛋糕或跟圖書館借書，她總讓其...
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