THE WAY IT IS
They meet once a month at the same booth. Order the same drinks. Ask how everyone’s doing. Lie when they answer.
Jun works herself to the point of collapse, convinced that being good at her job isn’t good enough. Daniel destroys his body proving he’s reliable. Elias can’t leave his apartment without checking the locks seventeen times. Marco is three weeks from living in his car, but tomorrow he’ll quit drinking. Tomorrow.
The Four Musketeers are drowning. They all know it. None of them say it.
Because asking for help means admitting you’re broken. And they’re already barely adequate-how could they possibly survive being more than that?
But adequate isn’t a ceiling. It’s a starting point.
And recovery isn’t about being fixed. It’s about having the courage to try when trying feels impossible. About accepting help when you’re convinced you don’t deserve it. About choosing to be honest when lies are so much easier.
Some of them will make it. Some won’t.
The difference is thinner than you think.
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"Devastating. Necessary. The most honest book about mental illness I’ve ever read."
"For anyone who has ever believed they were too broken to fix. This book knows you. It sees you. It refuses to look away."
A novel about depression, anxiety, addiction, and the terrifying space between knowing you need help and being able to ask for it.
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Content guidance: This novel contains depictions of depression, anxiety disorders, addiction, suicidal ideation, and mental health crisis. Resources for support are included in the back matter.