andy coffey

‘Sometimes there are tales that must be told, songs that must be sung, and farts that must be farted. And sometimes the spirit of these great adventures, heroic deeds, songs of glory, and flatulent blessings is powerful enough to touch the hearts, ears and nostrils of the Gods. And so it is with Sacred Wind.

Certainly I know that I, King Beef Vindaloo-Boiled Rice III, puff my rice with pride and thicken my sauce when I recount the adventures of the Companionship of Wind. How a stranger from beyond distance and beyond time (a lad called Aiden Peersey, from your reality) joined Sacred Wind in their quest to win the Cestrian Music Tournament, to save the faerie queen, to win freedom for our land, to be able to fart freely, and to win the right to their cheese. It is the stuff of legend. And sometimes the Gods decree that such legends need to be manifest in the entire Multiverse… although not necessarily the smells.

However, even though this most splendid tale has been told in the marvellous Sacred Wind books 1, 2 & 3, there are other tales that need telling. And so a series of historical appendices has been commissioned by none other than Odin himself. You have here the first four of these enlightening pieces of literature, with more to follow. So read with pride, my friends… and if you feel the need to have a small fart at any time, know that it will cause pleasure to many.

May your rice be forever fluffy, may your poppadoms be crisp, may your curry be hot, and may Odin bless your wind.

King Beef Vindaloo-Boiled Rice III.’