captain tom w. skipper

Don’t look now, but there could be a huge ship sneaking up RIGHT BEHIND YOU

Download this book instantly to figure out a solution in the next 30 seconds.

“How to Avoid Huge Ships: A Comic Book Parody” will solve all of your life’s problems. Guaranteed.

Do you:
 

• Find yourself lying awake at night, sure that you heard the creaking of a behemoth hull outside your door?
• Mistake car horns for massive ship horns?
• Look at people with terror when they mention they are vacationing in the Caribbean on a cruise?
• Fear large, open bodies of water?
• Wish you lived in a country without Ocean coasts, or perhaps, lived on a mostly waterless planet, like Mars?

If you want to:
 

• Finally get a full night’s rest
• Address the underlying causes of your hypertension
• Protect your children and your children’s children and your children’s children’s children
• Save our species and our planet
• Reclaim your appetite
• Negotiate a higher salary
• And much, much more…

Then “How to Avoid Huge Ships” is the answer you are looking for.

This book will tell you once and for all how to avoid huge ships, evade large vessels, keep clear of big barges, dodge colossal boats, elude enormous liners, evade gargantuan tankers, shake mammoth crafts, deflect monstrous freighters, ward off super-sized steamers, duck massive cruisers and escape gigantic watercrafts.

Disclaimer: This book won’t actually provide you real advice on how to avoid huge ships (or reduce hypertension or negotiate your salary or really anything helpful of any kind). This book’s sole purpose is to make you chuckle. You will find inside its pages a collection of comics loosely based on a humorous book title, but this parody has no connection to the content, author or publisher of any book it may bear resemblance to. This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental. If you are a seafaring captain and you are actually looking for advice on how to avoid huge ships, you won’t find it here.