charles m. sevilla

In America's courtooms, the verdict is laughter.

Sit back and enjoy a collection of verbatim exchanges from the halls of justice, where defendants and plaintiffs, lawyers and witnesses, juries and judges, collide to produce memorably insane comedy.

The Court: The charge here is theft of frozen chickens. Are you the defendant, sir?
Defendant: No, sir, I'm the guy who stole the chickens.

Attorney: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
Witness: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
Attorney: And why did that upset you?
Witness: My name is Susan!

Attorney: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
Witness: Oral…

Attorney: What is your date of birth?
Witness: July 18th.
Attorney: What year?
Witness: Every year.