jay kyle petersen

My personal story about how I got into debt - credit cards, school loans, personal loans I even took out a bank loan on my car to pay off monthly bills. I could not keep my checking account much above zero. I kited checks. I tried hard to get out of debt but no matter how hard I tried I kept getting further into debt and the stress, worry, shame, pain and guilt I felt. There seemed no way out. This went on for many years.

I grew up poor on a small farm in Minnesota and experienced multiple abuse in and outside our home. I had no idea about how to manage money and was introduced to credit cards when I was a teenager. Money became a associated with love when my dad sold a cow or pig and gave me a wad of cash. I had little love at home. I was taught to look good at any cost and not tell the truth no matter how much pain I was in so I could never be honest about money either. My grandmother and animals on the farm saved my sanity. I was born intersexed, raised a girl but knew I was a boy and experienced a horrific childhood and very limited choices. As an adult food and shopping even credit cards - in the club - made me feel better but these were temporary fixes and mood altering.

In 1987 I found a group of people and a way out. I learned to tell the truth about money and myself. I was accepted. I learned tools like daily record keeping, use of telephone, fellowship, making financial amends even if it was a dime a month, doing projected income and spending plans and savings accounts and more. I was loved and I learned how to get out of debt and helped others doing service work. In 1989 I got out of debt and have been out of debt since using these tools and more like prayer, meditation, contact with another solvent person, Higher Power and that there is a Power greater than debt, there is a Source of money and a Source of healing, love, and a much better use of my time. I don't worry so much anymore. I am getting better at letting go and letting my Higher Power manage my life, courage to change, face fears, be honest, and take actions, and learning to live with uncomfortable feelings in between outcomes. That there is a much better way of life when it involved these tools and a Higher Power I love and who loves me. 

I am sharing my story, tools, and how I found a way out with others to bring hope and encouragement.