jewbelong

It’s the celebration of the Jewish New Year, but without the sequin dress and champagne (although you do you). Unlike Times Square on December 31st, Rosh Hashanah is a tad more introspective. At the core, it’s about cleaning up things in your life so you can start the New Year with a fresh slate. A good way to get started is by asking yourself where you’re hitting the mark and where you need some adjusting. It’s not a coincidence that Rosh Hashanah is also about the trifecta of forgiveness: apologizing, forgiving, and receiving forgiveness. Making amends with loved ones (ideally before Rosh Hashanah starts, but don’t worry about when, especially if this is all new to you) is likely to be the most powerful part of the holiday. And no, it’s not going to be easy, but do it anyway.

Start by saying ＂I’m sorry＂ to whoever you hurt. There are no shortcuts for the person-to-person part of this. Although texting instead of talking is a shortcut that sort of works. But what we mean by person-to-person is just that. Have conversations with people in your life. It doesn’t work if you try something like, ＂Hey God, please make sure my sister forgives me for telling our mom about her new tattoo...＂ And if your sister is still mad at you after you apologize? Well, Jewish tradition says that if you apologize to someone three times from your heart and that someone still doesn’t forgive you, you’ve fulfilled your obligation. Interesting, right? Rosh Hashanah is also time to try an underutilized but fabulous tradition of checking in with people you may have hurt without even knowing it by saying something like this: ＂If I hurt you this year and I didn’t realize it, I apologize.＂ Sometimes that can be the start of an important conversation. If not, it’s still a sweet gesture that can strengthen relationships.

Still with us? Good, cause there’s more! Technically, the High Holidays are Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur and the days between them are known as the Days of Awe, which are a time for serious introspection. By the time Yom Kippur rolls around, you have theoretically asked for forgiveness from everyone in your life and forgiven those you were angry with, e.g., no more holding grudges. This leaves you with one last person to deal with. Yourself. Not to sound all new agey, but Yom Kippur is also when we are closest to God/Spirit/the essence of our souls. One of the reasons that people fast on Yom Kippur is that being hungry is supposed to help with introspection. What if you don’t believe in God? Good news! It works just as well! The genius of the High Holidays is that no matter what you believe or don’t believe, taking time each year to put forgiveness, repentance, prayer, and good deeds front and center is honestly pretty great. This booklet will help!