mother of all decisions: a memoir of mother loss, legacy, and adopting kids in midlife

In the blink of an eye life can become a reminder of the dreams and goals you let go of. When Betsy Armstrong’s mother unexpectedly dies, she makes the choice to be better than the mistakes of her family’s past and build anew in the life she wants and dreams of.

What is legacy, and how will I leave one?

Betsy Armstrong asks herself this question after her forty-six-year-old mother dies with a list of regrets and her stepfather completely disinherits her. Alone, Betsy sets about building a life of no regrets: becoming a marathon runner and Ironman triathlete, quitting a cushy corporate job to lead a life of service, and overcoming a crippling fear of commitment to marry. Still, she’s always running from the grief she can’t escape. As Betsy’s forty-seventh birthday approaches, she finally confronts her losses and begins reflecting on the one thing she’d never considered: children.

Inspired by a friend’s adoption, Betsy and her husband, Doug, choose that path but face daunting obstacles--a failed adoption, a Russian courtroom drama, and a medical crisis in a tiny Russian town seven time zones away from Moscow. As the outcome of the adoption waxes and wanes, Betsy is forced to make the biggest decision of her life: How far will she go to become a mother?

Betsy Armstrong grew up on a farm in Minnesota, but Chicago captured her country-mouse heart thirty-plus years ago, so she stayed. Betsy is a writer, mom, athlete, and philanthropist who wants to change the world. She had careers in sales, counseling, and the non-profit space. Still, her true passion was running, which led her to become the Executive Director of Girls on the Run-Chicago and the Chicago Area Runners Association. Her writing has been published in the Brevity Blog, The Pinch Journal, and WOW-Women on Writing, and she has been recognized in essay contests in Writer’s Digest and WOW-Women on Writing. She and her husband, kids, and pets divide their time between the mountains of Nevada and the lakes of the Midwest.