philippa cameron

Elle is 16, she's sweet and funny, she's got a best friend, Libby, who despite her bad temper and foul mouth somehow complements Elle, her parents are loving and supportive, and a boy called Sam appears to want to be more than just friends. A perfect life. There's just one problem. Elle thinks she's supposed to be dead.

When she announced this to her parents three years earlier, things moved swiftly: doctor’s appointments, weekly therapy sessions, a fridge filled with mood foods and, finally, a prescription for antidepressants.

None of this really helps Elle; her days still seem to be a coin toss of light and dark but she manages her condition as best she can by being brave and tough and funny.

Best friend Libby is the only one who truly gets Elle, but sometimes even she's too much. And Elle doesn't have the energy for a boyfriend; she needs all she's got to get through the day. But the boy is Sam. Does she even have a choice? Because something weird keeps happening every time they’re in the same room…

The story follows Elle over a week as she and Libby plot how they're going to get to a music festival to see their favorite band. They face several obstacles, not least of which is persuading Elle's parents to let her out of their sight. It’s not really her parents’ fault that they’ve become a little fearful after one, well, maybe two incidences that were misconstrued - Elle swears - as possible suicide attempts. But Elle needs them to let her go - and she doesn't mean only to the concert.