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KING RANDALL OF GOBSHITE has quite the task for one of his loyal subjects. Unfortunately, he scared off many of the nobles by hosting an all-male ball, which resulted in unexpected carnage and a snappy pair of glowing canine testicles.

PERCY OF PICADILLY is just the right amount of stupid to mosey into court in hopes of serving his beloved king. Though unable to wipe his own behind without proper assistance, the nincompoop in tights hits the jackpot when King Randall grants him a quartet of armored guards and sends him on his merry way.

FREDERICK OF FLOOFOLLY has gone missing! Well, partially missing. When his cock and balls arrive at Castle Gobshite but he does not, King Randall wonders what happened to the rest of him. Such a matter demands his brightest investigator. Unfortunately, the poof in tights will have to do.

Approximately 7,000 words.