the most human: reconciling with my father, leonard nimoy

＂Engaging and immensely relatable, while at the same time offering deeply profound insights into Adam Nimoy’s personal relationships, particularly with his famous father.＂ --Eugene Roddenberry Jr., CEO Roddenberry Entertainment

Living with Dad was like living with a stranger--as a kid I often had trouble connecting and relating to him. But I was always proud of him.

Even before Star Trek I’d see him popping up in bit roles on some of my favorite TV shows like Get Smart, Sea Hunt, and The Man From U.N.C.L.E. And then one night he brought home Polaroids of himself in makeup and wardrobe for a pilot he was working on. It was December 1964 and nobody had heard of Star Trek. Still, the eight-year-old me had watched enough Outer Limits and My Favorite Martian to understand exactly what I was looking at.

Spock’s popularity happened quickly, and soon the fan magazines were writing about dad’s personal life, characterizing us as a ＂close family.＂ But the awkwardness that defined our early relationship blossomed into conflict, sometimes smoldering, sometimes open and intense. There were occasional flashes of warmth between the arguments and hurt feelings--even something akin to love--especially when we were celebrating my father’s many successes. The rest of the time, things between us were often strained.

My resentment towards my father kept building through the years. I wasn’t blameless, I know that now, but my bitterness blinded me to any thought of my own contribution to the problem.

I wanted things to be different for my children. I wanted to be the father I never had, so I coached Maddy’s soccer, drove Jonah to music lessons, helped them with their homework--all the things dads are supposed to do. All the things I wanted to do. So what if my Dad and I had been estranged for years? I was living one day at a time.

And then I got his letter.

That marked a turning point in our lives, a moment that cleared the way for a new relationship between us.

Adam Nimoy is a graduate of UC Berkeley and Loyola Law School. After seven years in entertainment law, he left to pursue a directing career. Nimoy has directed over forty-five hours of network television, as well as directing the critically acclaimed documentary film about his father. For the Love of Spock (2016) was the Official Selection at the Tribeca Film Festival. He was featured in the New York Times article ＂To Boldly Explore Jewish Roots of Star Trek＂ and he published a Father’s Day piece about his relationship with his father for the Boston Globe. He is the author of My Incredibly Wonderful, Miserable Life and has been in 12-step recovery for twenty years. Adam has three children, a step-son, a dog and two cats. He lives in Los Angeles.