theo w. pitchstead

The worst school shooting in American history-the worst you’ve ever seen, folks, believe me-the President delivers a solution so smart, so fast, so strong, it’ll blow your mind. People said it couldn’t be done. But we did it. We did it big. Schools will be safer than ever. The media won’t like it. The lawyers are crying. But the crowds? They’re cheering.

The hero of the moment? Jordan Peck-a PTSD-riddled ex-soldier turned cop, plucked from obscurity and repackaged as a symbol of justice and strength.

But justice is just another prop in this political theater.

Behind the spectacle is a rotating cast of grifters, sociopaths, profiteers, and true believers-each one more flawed, delusional, or compromised than the last. White House Chief of Staff Lauren Chalmers is one of the few with a conscience left, and even she’s trapped by past favors, moral cowardice, and a system that punishes decency.

Bullets for Beautiful Babies is a razor-edged political satire about the American obsession with guns, safety, masculinity, and power. No one is innocent. No one is noble. Every character in this darkly funny, disturbingly plausible novel is acting in their own interest-and America might just cheer them on for it. At once outrageous and unnervingly plausible, this is a story about the cost of safety, the illusion of leadership, and the dangerous line between protection and oppression.