tom gardiner

Having trouble in your marriage? Whether your spouse occasionally drives you crazy or your marriage is at a crossroads, this book is for you. Tom Gardiner, a Chicago lawyer, explains how to form post-nuptial agreements (Nups) that address marital problems—and do so effectively. Unlike counseling that often is no more than a temporary fix, this book talks about agreements during marriage that will result in long-term change. If your spouse drinks too much, for instance, you both agree in a legally binding document about the changes that need to occur—and the consequences if they don’t.
 
Beyond providing motivation for change, this approach fosters communication about problems rather than the avoidance that is so common in many marriages.
 
There is another huge advantage to Nups. If the behavior is not changed and divorce is triggered, the terms of the divorce are set when the parties both seek to save the marriage—not when they’re going through an acrimonious break-up. The terms agreed to when the parties hope to continue their relationship are usually reasonable and fair—who gets the kids and when, a fair amount of alimony for a fair term, division of the property—all because the spouses are seeking a solution at the time of the agreement.
 
This book covers all of the human frailties that can cause problems in a marriage: financial problems, drinking, drug use, cheating, stepchildren, in-law problems, inheritance, religious issues, and so on. This is a book not just for couples, but for therapists, religious leaders, and others who seek to make marriages stronger and, in the event of divorce, to make divorces civilized and fair without inflicting damage on loved ones.