tralisa mcneal

My name is Stacey Jones. I honestly believe that my sole purpose for being on Earth is to establish a solid trusting relationship with a loving God so that I may spend an eternity with him in heaven. How can I build a connection with a God who sometimes seems evasive, unrealistic and egocentric? I should be ashamed to say this, but I've blessed and cursed Jesus in the same breath. Later, I'm asking for forgiveness. Is this too much information for the "perfect Christian"? I'm sure you've passed all tested trials with flying colors. You think this is a secret I should keep to myself? I disagree. I wish I could say life's been good and worth living, but there have been many days when I've begged the "Good Lord" to take me out of here. I've always been somebody's perfect victim. My questions scare the "ideal Christians." I pretend like everything's okay, singing songs of praise and worshipping a God I don't understand, who disappears just when I think I'm getting close to him. Rod believes this is blasphemy so I'm trapped. I look to heaven and scream, "Enough already." I don't want to go to hell. I've taken chances on Rod's convictions. But, now I've reached my spiritual bottom. His faith can no longer sustain me. I'm not ashamed to ask, "Will you trudge with me on this journey to find my God?
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