Introducing the incredibly intuitive, impossibly irresistible and infuriatingly insatiable Dr Cornelius Ramus (Dr Ramus Book 1)

Introducing Dr Cornelius Ramus. The heartwarming tale of an egotistical git, delivered with all the grace of an intoxicated chimpanzee regurgitating half-chewed chunks of banana.

Born into considerable wealth, and armed with a doctorate almost certainly not obtained via legitimate channels, Dr Cornelius Ramus has fashioned himself a rather lucrative side-line as a private detective who—through a great deal of luck, conniving, and occasional flashes of genuine brilliance—has managed to secure a respectable degree of celebrity status which he habitually exploits to fuel his self-indulgent pastimes, which consist mostly of serial womanizing, drinking, and any other activity that caresses his already over-inflated ego.

Unfortunately, however, his assignments have become a little low-key just lately; book sales are down and invitations to make TV appearances have been slowly diminishing until, thankfully, good fortune conveniently materializes in the form of a note—pinned to a baguette found inserted into the corpse of a celebrity chef—announcing the arrival of a poorly monikered serial killer who is apparently intent on slaughtering yet more celebrities in a city where the shameful crime novel cliché of a local police department are simply too inept to successfully hunt down the perpetrator without the benefit of his ‘expert’ assistance.

Please be aware that this book contains adult themes and a lot of dark humor that is very stupid and extremely gross (“Juvenile and disgusting” according to one disgruntled reader.) Please also be aware that the main character is a sexist pig who you are not supposed to like. If that sort of thing doesn’t appeal to you, please don’t read it.