The Real Ones

Best friends Zaid and Neelam shared a dream: get away, make it as writers, build a future where they’re free to be themselves. Together, always.

Years later, things are far from what they expected. Zaid’s life has kinda stalled - he’s half out the closet, living at home and still chasing the dream. While Neelam’s has taken a completely different path as she chooses to prioritise her own happiness. As their lives pull further apart, leaving a mess of unsaid things between them, it’s going to take something real to bring them back together.

Waleed Akhtar’s play The Real Ones is a funny and honest love letter to platonic soulmates. It was first performed at the Bush Theatre, London, in 2024, directed by Anthony Simpson-Pike, and starring Nathaniel Curtis and Mariam Haque.

Waleed Akhtar is a writer and actor. His plays include: The Real Ones (Bush Theatre, London, 2024); The P Word (Bush Theatre, 2022); Kabul Goes Pop: Music Television Afghanistan (Brixton House, London, and tour 2022); Sholay on the Big Screen (Bush Theatre, London, 2021); and I Don’t Know What To Do (VAULT Festival 2020, Evening Standard Pick of the Fest). His English translation of Alexis Michalik’s play The Art of Illusion was staged at Hampstead Theatre in 2022.

His short film Lost Paradise was produced by UK Film Council and he has contributed material for BBC Radio 4’s Sketchtopia and Newsjack.

He was named Most Promising New Playwright at the 2023 OffWestEnd Awards.